Attempting to Serve as a Healing Hand of God (Warrior Poet Mental Yoga 183)

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From an involved surgery from last week.

Balancing life in your hands, knowing exactly how delicate, remarkable, and interdependent, such a force happens to be, is grace, a blessing, and also a curse to those with a comprehensive awareness of the responsibility of their involvement and intervention when attempting to serve as a healing hand of God.

Are you good enough? Are you deceiving yourself in your own perceptions and/or your own capability? Are you being too meticulous and tedious or perhaps, not enough? Can the fear of failure or mistake be kept at respectful bay? And in the end, no matter the reality and the truth, will you be judged an unquestionable hero or incompetent charlatan by those in the periphery of the act? Is it enough or too much to be the only one who might know the truth either way?

It is a supreme honor to be sincerely entrusted with such responsibility and faith. It touches my soul and lifts me up more than you know. I hate to fail a patient, a client. . .and even myself, but nothing is ever guaranteed, no matter the intent and no matter the skill. This is the burden that weighs upon the true healers and that you might not ever see. These are the thoughts that linger and dwell throughout their daily lives, in between their every breath. These are the demons they (we) must fight alone, for themselves (ourselves) as much as for what we may do for you and yours.

This surgery actually went as well as it possibly could have and the patient is recovering in good fashion, but he will be on my mind day and night, 24/7, for the next 11 days, that is until he has passed out of the real post-op risk period. I’m hoping for my hospital, my staff, and myself, that once again we will all be heroes. . .for Sampson and his mommy.

Wish us all luck if you will.

Dr. Cribb

Won’t You Not Play the Game with Me? (The Veterinarian)

For those who might be interested, this is a short poetic note about myself and some of the stressful forces which impact upon the practicing of my profession and the owning/operating of my veterinary hospital. I often fancifully refer to the hospital as the Castle. May these words be taken in the spirit of which they are offered; for greater understanding and the hope that we may all come together to work towards what is the most nurturing and best balanced system for all.

It disgusts me how much the corporate world stands in my shadow, deceptively and manipulatively sucking out almost all of the revenue I can generate in my trade by being a fair and ethical small business person. These entities figured out a long time ago how to put “face men” out there to disguise the intricate ponzi scheme of their diffuse market possession and “behind the curtain” price control they impose on all consumers. The current “capitalistic” system is designed for us to be nothing more than masked puppets for these juggernaut parasites. It equally disgusts me how much the government rapes me over and over in exponential fashion. The amount of taxes I pay for my income and property is egregious, insane, and unfair.

It would seem to me that the underlying lesson taught by both the government and the corporate world is that a man of independence and ethical preference is suppose to break himself of these tedious tendencies and desires. . . because, as they say, “you gotta make a living” or “you gotta make your fair share” or “you gotta play the game like everyone else, that’s just the way it is.” And sooner or later, maybe the system will take me out. I have been close a number of times, much closer than you probably believe, but if it happens one day, it just happens, because you see, I can’t play the game. A game that turns me into a relentless lying and tax evading prick or a bastardized up-selling unethical DVM corporate puppet that has to screw my customers over to generate a decent income for my effort and expertise, has at its victory the death of my honor, the loss of all of my integrity, and ultimately, the suicide of my humanity and the values of existence which make it worth experiencing. This I remind myself.

So, I just wrote a check to the United States Treasury for an absurd amount related to estimated taxes while I’m doing my best trying to get caught up on all of my other bills that cannot be paid from that extracted/allocated amount, but my day goes on with the Castle roof above my head and the Castle gardens flourishing all over the grounds. The magic is alive around here. . .you can feel it; it always holds up pretty good against the petrifying spell of money’s love potion and the wicked withering brought about by its whispered and temptable chants.

There is enough magic everywhere for everyone, but it isn’t to be found in a upsold suicidal game of plundering.

Won’t you not play the game with me?

Cribb          2017

Nullifying a Fear Response (Warrior Poet Mental Yoga 155)

You cannot help another organism (pet or human) overcome or work through a fear response via baby talk and coddling. Baby talk and coddling are submissive in nature and they actually reinforce or encourage the entity experiencing the fear to continue feeling justified in their response no matter how irrational it may happen to be. A fear response must be addressed with stable behavior and stable vocalizations if it is to be dealt with as best as is possible. The voice of the stabilizer preferably needs to be even in tone, rhythm, and cadence. The behavior of of the stabilizer must not involve nervous/excitable chaotic energy, over-nurturing or over-dominating. This is the only way to avoid reinforcing or further enabling/marking the fear which we are supposedly trying to overcome in the suffering subject.

Accurately analyzing and stably confronting delusional possession by fear is a complex and often seemingly counterintuitive sensory conundrum. The healer must disengage with their own egocentric fears, desires, and any temptable manipulation that exists within the relationship between themselves and the subject. No matter the degree of previous societal indoctrination or desired authenticity in the meaning of certain erroneously programmed behavioral actions and responses, over-nurturing and over-dominating must be objectively identified and avoided to promote resolution via removal of all delusional excuses.

If you are over-nurturing or over-dominating anyone or anything, anywhere in the world, you are poisoning existence by promoting the possession of fear in all. That may sound harsh and extreme, but nonetheless, it remains true.

Cribb          2017

The Financial Reward and Favorable Electability of a Persona that Ills, Endorses, and Enables (Warrior Poet Mental Yoga 153)

My first boss out of veterinary school was a man that I looked to for admiration, respect, leadership, skill, and inspiration. I was hungry to begin my career as an associate veterinarian under his tutelage. At the time, I believed the profession to be saturated by exceptional professionals who prioritized empathy, exceptional knowledge and skill, integrity, and honor towards everything and everyone. I believed that the reward of money would follow those attributes naturally, secondarily, and in a balanced truthful fashion. It did not take long to discover how wrong such a premise had been. It was like that point in time when you finally figure out that your parents are not invincible, that they don’t know everything in the world, that they never did, and that in many ways, they are as damaged and confused as you are in your own childhood misperceptions.

I learned quickly how he polished the image of his ineptitude with insincere charming bullshit spewed towards anyone who would listen, towards anyone susceptible to his tactics of entertaining deception. I learned how much he loved to manipulate clients into spending massive amounts of money for unnecessary diagnostics and treatments when he did not care or even have a clue about the reality of the case. I learned how he lied to everyone about everything; his wife, his associate, his peers, his staff, and his clients. His relentless pursuit, his unquestionable priority, was selling without conscience, without validity, almost always absent of a fair exchange over a service or skill of objective need. Being a veterinarian seemed to mean nothing to him beyond serving as a mask of respectable authority and having a license to ill. I honestly don’t remember him ever doing the right thing even once when he knew that he could get away with doing less. I witnessed overt malpractice and unethical manipulation of clients on a number of occasions, but fearing unemployment, the associated possibility of being blacklisted by him in the veterinary community, and quickly realizing that in truth, maybe there were more of his character types in our profession than mine, I was frozen in indecision, and thus controlled by the fear of him for a time. The truth was also apparent to many of the staff, but like myself, most were also caught in the employer fear trap. To be fair, I suppose others liked his tactics and the emboldening sense that they felt from carrying out his passive-aggressive manipulation and revenue depletion of others. There are always those minions who prefer such a destabilized approach to their interactions with others.

This man became a very successful businessman and eventually was elected President of my state Veterinary Medical Association. He deserves those accolades. They should be acknowledged, but what should also be acknowledged is that you should hope he never tried to diagnose or treat your pet for anything. He spoke bullshit and sappy charm to all of his clients and most of them ate it up. It was/is almost like most people really want(ed) the bullshit, the show, the song and dance. They just want to be entertained and have their assumptions and beliefs, no matter how far fetched or off the mark they might be, endorsed and enabled. It makes me sick to even think about the insanity of it all for too long. I still can’t fathom how the system became so broken that it props up people of that nature to become financially successful and to become esteemed as elected leaders who supposedly have everyone’s best interest at heart. Such a system leaves all of the “patients” under the care of an incompetent doctor of malicious intent whether those patients know it or not.

Cribb          January 20, 2017

Special Is as Special Does (The Veterinarian)

Today during surgery, an employee of mine was telling me about her previous experience working for one of the big corporate veterinary hospital chains. Her story is similar to a million others I have heard and in some cases, witnessed personally myself; business bastardizing the practice of veterinary medicine and mandating that veterinary support staff rigorously sell, intentionally misinform, and compromise their morals towards customers at the risk of being terminated by their employer if they fail to comply. This employee was told to falsely advertise, promote, and encourage “health plans” to customers, that were essentially lost leaders of misperception and increased cost (not savings). Furthermore, the worst part of the deal was in the fine print of the contract that the customer was required to sign. By signing, it locked the customer into being further exploited for an extended period of time without any recourse or escape. The employee was instructed just to sell the plan and not discuss or point out the fine print (all of the contractual obligations) to anyone. She chose instead to highlight the fine print and encourage careful review of the plan’s details by the customers, so that they might make a fully informed decision about their purchasing options. Eventually, she was unfairly terminated for being honest and forthright to the customers and despite having to undergo three trials in an attempt to block her deserved unemployment pay, she was finally found to be innocent of any crime, delinquency, or misdoings.

This is the type of employee that I have always preferred to have on my hospital team. Such an employee strengthens a hospital by acting for the betterment of all. Supporting, encouraging, and nurturing honesty, integrity, and empathy works in every direction. It isn’t too much to ask of anyone and it saddens me that so many see such an approach from an employee as an inconvenience or a negative character trait. No one is perfect and stones can be cast in any direction, but I want those truly trying; those fighting the good fight for everyone; those that believe it doesn’t have to be “us against them”, by my side, on my staff, and you should want them by your side too.

I am proud of the character of my entire staff and proud of the profound uniqueness of VCC in many regards. It is truly a special place that operates far beyond the expected and tolerated norm. I also do dearly appreciate all of our customers who know and get what I mean without any further explanation. It takes “special” to know “special.” These special customers give us the strength, hope, and faith to believe in ourselves, in others, and the amazing accomplishments that we can attain by continuing to work together in such “special” ways.

Dr. Cribb          2016

Thank You for your Enrollment in our Life-Sucking Apathy Torture Plan (Warrior Poet Mental Yoga 146)

Pretext Comment: I am a Veterinarian who is currently witnessing corporate America invade and remake our industry into the same immoral pillaging demon that they turned human health care into many moons ago…and it is more than obvious that it has nothing to do with Government interference, now as it was originally then. This wayed on my mind heavily during my supremely blissful and oh so brief engagement with my open healthcare insurance enrollment that I was forced to be drawn and quartered with yesterday. My original thoughts and obscure humor regarding these matters follow. Laughing at the insanity is surely part of it’s cure.

After navigating once again through the life-sucking process of deciphering the misleading fine print of various levels of denying care Health Care Plans and tolerating unavoidable misdirectional pisspoor customer service, including being endlessly accosted by the demonic gatekeeper of automation and hangup/disconnect hell, not to mention, being blessed by the ridiculous required financial raping of being mandatorily charged a month prior to the beginning of whatever service will actually be rendered, I would just like to remind anyone stupid enough to read this of 3 points;

1) The insurance company created this tortuous, complicated, confusing, outsourced, automation plagued, fineprint activity, all on their glorious own. This absurd process, that I just went through and barely managed to survive with my somewhat of an above average intellect, is a quagmire and tarbaby of the worst intent and the most obscure clarity imaginable.

2) The cost of Veterinary Medicine is currently being exponentially raised right under your noses, as the true quality declines, by numerous sly, parasitic, and super-misleading-marketing, corporate entities who are invading the field. They are selling you a lot of glittering shit and setting their hooks solidly, while making you feel all nice and cozy and special with their psychopathic pseudo-charm lullaby. It ain’t be the government that be bastardizing the hell out of veterinary medicine and that will most assuredly continue to aggressively generate super-duper-revenue off of your love for your pet. You ain’t seen noth’in yet in regards to Fido’s future bills.

3) The most real and polite and dare I say organic part of all this madness, was when I spoke to one particular customer service person on the phone. I don’t know where she was sitting, but I would lay money down on the country of India or Pakistan. She actually spoke to me like a real person and appeared to be genuinely interested in helping to end my Blue Cross Blue Shield torture session. Those damn foreigners, so lazy, and just so damn unAmerican.

Cribb          2016

The Veterinarian 101

I think it important to note that corporations, not government, are the driving force behind scaring the hell out of people in every way imaginable so that they “run to the doctor” and spend or try to spend excessive amounts of money on their health care. This is done in massive and expertly crafted propaganda, repetitively bombarded over the internet, radio, and TV. The initiation of this tactic is beginning right now in veterinary medicine and it is ONLY of corporate origin (not government) with the direct intention of draining enormous amounts of money out of the pockets of pet owners with the sole purpose of making excessive profit. It is based on poor paranoid excessive medicine and intentional manipulation of medical truths, probabilities, and concerns. These corporations (insurance, drug, financing, doctor management hospitals) are governments. They are like small rogue nation states. They aren’t businesses and they haven’t been in a long time. They don’t actually operate in the private sector. That’s just an illusion and a technicality of language. They act with the same malevolence that many attribute only to “government” entities and maybe worse, because all that they care about and prioritize is maximizing profit. That is in direct conflict with practicing ethical, moral, and empathetic medicine. You may not be suffering too much yourself due to your socioeconomic status, but I assure you that many good people I know and have known, do.

Jeff Cribb DVM          2016