A Promethean Act of Free Will (Warrior Poet Mental Yoga 247)

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William James widely considered the father of American psychology and a co-father to the philosophy of pragmatism, received a MD from Harvard Medical School in 1869. James had always been exceptionally bright and was well educated since his earliest youth. He suffered from severe depression and insecurity (self-loathing) which apparently hit a high point in his life after his graduation from Harvard and as a result he checked himself into an asylum for treatment.

James left the asylum in an improved state and perspective, but not as a result of the therapy he had received at the institution. He experienced a self revelation of awareness and understanding after reading an essay on free will by Charles Renouvier, a French philosopher. His epiphany has been referred to as “A Promethean Act of Free Will” and in essence lead to his profound belief that mental illness could only be accurately addressed and/or cured via the free will of personal choice.

Though James continued to struggle with his mental illness in some form for the rest of his life, his approach to his depression improved his quality of life significantly and kept it from crippling him severely anymore in the future. He went on to teach physiology and psychology at Harvard, published significant data and theory on human emotion (now referred to as the James-Lange theory), and eventually settled on the in depth contemplation and study of philosophy and spiritual energy in the later period of his life. He published numerous books of ongoing significant relevance including The Principles of Psychology (1890), The Varieties of Religious Experience (1902), and a groundbreaking work on education, Talks to Teachers on Psychology and to Students on Some of Life’s Ideals (1899).

The sketch is a self portrait James produced around the age of 24 and the year 1866.

Information borrowed and paraphrased from:

1) Subliminal – How Your Unconscious Mind Rules Your Behavior, Leonard Mlodinow 2012

2) Introduction Notes for The Varieties of Religious Experience, Wayne Proudfoot 2004

Cribb          2018

The Conformity of Being Broken (Warrior Poet Mental Yoga 243)

I have fought for the broken, the bent, the destabilized, the sexually repressed, the let down, the abused, the oppressed, the insecure, and the manipulated, almost my entire life. I have thrown myself up against a pervasive and heinous social and familial indoctrination system matrix that is the underlying force which inoculated all of these aforementioned entities with the fear that rules them in their preferred form of accepted and continued cyclical unending destabilization and suffering. I have flayed my life, my anger, my confusion, my demons, my own madness, my embarrassments, my vulnerabilities, my shame, and my own neuroses, in my own public blog and other forms of social media, to speak to these lost souls and try and get them to understand that I “get it,” that I “get them,” and I get the struggle they deal with every waking moment. I have read and educated myself endlessly on behavior, psychology, delusion, addiction, and a number of other related subjects, to become the most stabilizing entity, whether it be as son, friend, boss, father, lover, teacher, or veterinarian, possible. That has been the emphasis of my entire life, and I’m not exactly a dull light bulb of mediocre awareness and determination.

And despite all of this intent, focus, education, contemplation, and the best effort I can muster, over and over and over, what I have learned in 99.9% of the cases is that what broken really wants to do the most and what broken also really does best, is stay fucking broken, forever and ever and ever. And as broken does so, it expends an excessive amount of effort, will, and energy, to cycle through an infinite number of scapegoats, excuses, and every form of plausible deniability imaginable.

I once thought that the majority or at least a significant portion of broken adults and all of their excuses with them, could be helped or cured by another entity of supreme stability, empathy, and awareness. I now believe that such a notion is silly at best.

Broken wants to stay broken because that is what it has accepted as normal and it is too scared to choose to be abnormal, that is to break from the constructs it has previously cemented around its psyche as a result of the real or perceived life experiences it suffered in the past.

Normal for Broken is conformity to itself and the role that all the other enabling entities of its pack have “stamped with approval” as acceptable for one of its members even if that group “approved” behavior leads to its own perpetual destabilization. The enabling pack actually controls the destabilized Broken by keeping it weak, fractured, confused, and dependent on them. And they do all of this always in the name of love.

Abnormal or a state of healing change and cure for Broken is nonconformity to what it has previously accepted as itself and nonconformity to the entire damn enabling pack that it has been entrapped and tortured within. It matters not if this enabling pack has done this dastardly deed with specific intent or woeful ignorance, that is an irrelevant issue.

Broken will almost always choose conformity because that is the primary driving force behind social behavior. This conformity will eat its soul alive even as it pretends that only by conforming more and never less to its enabling pack might it ever become unbroken and find true peace.

The Broken were all once nonconformist. That’s a secret no one ever tells you. The reason they became Broken was because someone could not tolerate them with mutual respect and coexistence in their non-conforming state. So, the “non” was cut out of the nonconformist and what was left was Broken.

Broken, now a conformist, bent the knee, and lived happily ever after in the perpetual destabilization and suffering created by the psychological rift of their inherent core awareness and will conflicting continuously and paradoxically with their own outwardly adopted conforming behavior.

Cribb          2018

The Secret Bully Adult who was Once an Abused Child (Warrior Poet Mental Yoga) 229

A person who has been previously abused by a parent, but who did not suffer absolute  obliteration of their spirit and drive as a result, will often display unique, conflicting, and paradoxical behavior towards different people in their adult life.

For those they perceive as being submissive to them or nonthreatening, more specifically noncontrolling, in any shape, form, or fashion, they will conduct themselves as laid back, aloof, and free spirited. This is their “excuse” to rationalize to themselves that they haven’t grown up to become the same type of bully that their abusive parent was. This is pseudo-behavior or convenient mimicry. A bully can always appear laid back or aloof or even fairy like as long as they are getting their way regarding everything that they want at the moment. It can be even further confusing and enabling to such a bully if they happen to be a teacher, business owner, or similar person in a position of authority and those who are subservient to them shower them with praise for being so fair and honest and understanding. But, we must remember subservience is the key to the reality in these cases, not the praise.

You will not see the true colors of such a bully come out until they have to compromise or share or yield to better judgement in a relationship that might temper their spoiled brat behavior and impulsivity of action. You will not see them display anxiety or suffer from significant delusional perception (PTSD if you will from their previous parental abuse) until they interact with a person who is more dominant than themselves. The dominant interaction or challenge is the trigger to their selective delusion because they viscerally sense that such dominance perceives the genuine reality of all of their bully behavior.

This bully will counter the true dominant figure in one of three ways. First, they will try to charm the dominant into letting them continue to get away with their spoiled brat antics forever by suggesting that “it’s just the way they are or just the way that God made them.” This, of course, is only an elaborate excuse for them to be selfish and not have to answer to any other authority figure. Secondly, they will bombard the dominant with delusional parameters, assumptions, and fears, in an attempt to destabilize and overwhelm the dominant into “caving their better judgement” or “over-nurturing” them because of their supposed “trials and tribulations.” Third, they will create a self fulfilling prophecy of events and perceptions that will implode the relationship while putting the blame on the scapegoat dominant, so that they can escape the dominant oversight, and resent in a relationship with a submissive to retain the confidence of their previous pseudo-personality.

The greatest and almost insurmountable fear of this secret bully adult who was once an abused child is that they might become their abusive parent. Because of such fear this type of bully will go to any length whatsoever to avoid recognizing the reality of what they have allowed themselves to become via reverse imprinting. That includes the sacrifice of a loving mate and the perpetual destabilization of their own children. This dynamic can easily inflict severe mental illness and suffering on future generations before they even have a chance to protect themselves or understand that they are being imprinted upon. It is imperative that this pattern of behavior be brought to light for consideration and open discussion with those who have suffered from an abusive parent.

Cribb          2018