True Love or True Hell (Love vs Sex 258)

There is nothing, absolutely nothing in my life and existence that I would not happily sacrifice or forfeit to engage in a relationship of true love; that’s true love and not the watered down, wimpy, lip service version of something much less marketed as something supremely and gracefully greater. And it wouldn’t be enough if it were just me in true love with whomever while they still piddled around in fear or egocentric delusion or some stagnant glitch of the soul. But if I could find a person to love me true as I loved them true, nothing would take precedence or priority over that love, that bond, that union. And I am utterly confounded to see most, if not almost all others, who willingly sacrifice the potential for love to damn near any and every thing; a job, a distance, a hobby, “friends”, money, and the supposed wellbeing of children. I cannot fathom how a relationship of true love would not be the most important behavior or lesson for a child to observe and learn from. What lesson, what dynamic, what principle, could be of greater relevance and impact upon a child? I cannot fathom how so much materialistic and superficial shit has become socially dubbed and prioritized by the herd as being the much greater signifier of personal growth and the key to individual peace and happiness, than obtaining the enlightenment of love and enacting a union of upper transcendence through that love. I don’t know if it’s fear, selfishness, baseness, or just confusingly conforming indoctrination, but I do know that for me the quality of my existence is intimately related to my focus upon my chosen path and priorities. Is there any priority other than genuine and profound love that could impact more positively upon a person’s and/or a family’s quality of life? The answer is an absolute and resounding no. And yet for most people, while they spew sweet sentiments about love and it’s path less travelled, their actions hop, skip, and jump with a delusional zippity-do-da down the more travelled path of actionable anti-love and distractive complacency. They want to be able to claim the Weight and the Light of the world in their words without actually having to commit to lifting anything or opening their eyes long enough to look into that Light until the truth cannot be unseen. This cognitive dissonance, this deadly sin, can never sow love, but it does reap a world that instead operates on apathy at its best and fear at its worst. That world sounds like Hell to me.

Cribb          2018

If You Can Just Answer the Question (Warrior Poet Mental Yoga 251)

She was always the victim. It did not matter how much effort I willingly expended to be with her or how many uplifting and supportive direct compliments I gave her which she simply refused to hear or how much I stabilized her entire pack. She was always the victim unless she got to be the silent bully and do whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted, without complete consideration of the ultimate consequences to the entire pack, the pack that she said she loved. She was broken. I knew why and I had pity and empathy and resounding faith in her fractured spirit that it would choose to heal itself instead of slinking deeper into false excuses of fear and victimization; deeper into withdrawal from objective reality so that she might rule her own universe without question, without balance. . . without her having to expend the vulnerable effort and posture of maintaining respect for someone she could not control.

I said “I need you to do this for me. Name one time, anytime at all in his whole life, that your father hasn’t considered himself the victim. Just one time, anytime, that he wasn’t always running around doing whatever the hell he wanted to despite the wishes of and responsibilities to his wife and children. Even as he was over-dominating you and breaking your spirit as a little girl, he was always the victim, always, right? I’m not talking about blame right now. I’m just talking above his behavior and his perception. If you can just answer that question, you’ll break through, you’ll see it. So, tell me please, tell me one time in your father’s entire lifetime that he wasn’t the victim in his own mind while he bullied everyone else around him.”

She started crying, but she refused to answer the question and in doing so, in turning away from her fear of reality, she reset the cycle to continue in its revolutions of delusion, madness, and suffering.

Cribb          2018

I Think of You Laughing (Love vs Sex 256)

I think of you laughing

like a carefree giddy little girl,

amazed and awestruck

by the wonderful, intricate, and bewildering complexities of the world,

all the while relaxed in such untamed and unworried behavior

because you know

deep down in your heart that you aren’t alone,

not truly alone anymore,

in your thoughts, perceptions, and priorities.

Because, you know a man, a real man,

who is not an imposter, a bully, or a charlatan,

who cares for you and appreciates you as he should;

who has your back like no other ever has or ever will.

You know how much he wants to see you shine and dance and trust and love with complete abandon.

You just know,

he could never tolerate himself letting you down or disappointing you by failing to be the man you deserve and that you need to believe in.

It is a dreamy thought

that seems as though it might easily become a romantic reality

if only certain souls might stumble upon one another

and in doing so,

choose to believe

in

exquisite possibilities.

Cribb          2018

A Gander in a Goose World (Warrior Poet Mental Yoga 250)

Pretext Note: I am a DVM or Doctor of Veterinary Medicine and I currently live in my clinic. It was not my original plan and it happened as a result of multiple factors. The primary reason centers on the fact that the corporate plundering parasites I had to sign my soul over to to hang a shingle and a sign, suck me dry beyond belief on every level and, in turn, I refuse to pass through their insane fear mongering marketing and door to door salesman upselling antics to my clientele and patients.

Serious question: If someone asks why I live in my clinic, suggesting I have a serious character flaw in one way or the other, or appears to overvalue that fact compared to the values of myself which I believe to be much more profoundly important in my/our collective existence, is it fair for me to ask them why they overvalue a salary based on predatory destabilizing monetary exchanges of often inferior intellect, skill, and application, for their own selfish benefit and the acquisition of a trinket house or abode over true vocational independence and having a significant professional impact on the highest ideals of our supposed humanity?

Interestingly enough, most educators and others working in the healing professions, do not really ask me this question or if they do it radiates genuine curiosity and empathy with it when delivered.

Most hailing from any business clan or insulated in the collective interior of a juggernaut corporation, a well paid minion of the inner enabling machinery, do ask the question with a befuddlement of aghast amazement and astonishment.

Priorities, I suppose, but it’s funny how sometimes the ones who want to ask the most insinuating and provocative questions, have no interest whatsoever in having the questioner being turned into the questionee.

Well, I’ll be your gander.

Dr. Cribb          2018

To Choose Fear or Love for All, That is the Question (Love vs Sex 255)

If you have to look down to a more dependent or submissive entity to believe in love, what is it that you can’t see, appreciate, or find, when you look up?

And if you can’t believe in love by perceiving and acknowledging the worth and grace of a more independent stable dominant entity, how in the hell can you believe that you can genuinely love something of less existential vivacity and grace?

You may choose to love or not to love. That is your choice, your willful choice, but you may not, you may not bastardize love into a force or energy that you personally control and apply to creatures who are only dependent on or submissive to you. That isn’t love. So, don’t get that energy or force that you are conveniently attempting to rewrite and market as “love” confused with genuine love.

An energy which is only applied unilaterally to lesser or submissive creatures, no matter how much you want to advertise it as the exact polar opposite, is nothing more than fear.

To choose fear or love for all, that is the question.

Cribb          2018

Love, Pseudo-Love, and Catalytic Epiphanies (Love vs Sex 254)

 

Once you learn to truly love, the hard part is not continuing forevermore down that path. The hard part is finding another who has achieved the same capability. I don’t think love ever gives up on anyone. I don’t think it can be extinguished under any circumstance. It can get a little frustrated and disappointed by denials, by being bastardized and scapegoated to supposedly be something that it isn’t, and even by simple fearful withdrawals away from its presence, but it can’t be killed or snuffed out or tainted once you accept its graceful presence. It doesn’t go away. It doesn’t leave with another. Your soul remains eternally graced, energized, and titillated by love if you ever truly found and embraced love in the first place. Overwhelmingly, it appears to me that most have never experienced love and I don’t say that to be critical, demeaning, or higher than thou. Such a deficit or waste is tragic and beyond sorrowful for the individual and for the rest of the world. What is counterly pervasive is for almost everyone to vehemently pretend that they do feel or that they have been in love even when the objective blaring black and white inconsistencies of not having such a force in their relationship(s) proves their easily proposed verbal bloviating naive at best. Love is not your bitch to bully or rewrite. You can’t hoodwink her ass and get her to give you a standing ovation for the exceptional playacting you practice and enact rigorously in some warped projective false hope of affirmation. Love doesn’t buy your slutty sales pitch. Love doesn’t buy at all, nor does it sell. You don’t run from love out of fear, because if you have ever been touched and possessed by love, as we all should be, you already know that love is the vanquisher, the only vanquisher, of fear. To run from, deny, or turn away “love” is not what it pretends to be. It is the fear of having to relinquish and surrender yourself to a higher power, beyond your control, that exists outside of a conforming world where all interaction is and has been based on fear. It is a running away from, a denying of, or a turning away from the possibility that fear can and should be escaped and released forevermore.

Pseudo-love provides the most common excuse for those who have never loved to pretend and portray their passionate agape, eros, philia, or storge. The key to recognizing this pseudo-love is that the person of exalted declaration or expression of supreme emotional empathy and concern will always be in control (or believe that they are in control) of the entity or entities that they supposedly love. The observed relationships which are most often associated with the expression of this pseudo-love include single parent to child, owner to dog, and bully mate to non-bully mate. In each of these instances, the overwhelming dynamic is of bully or over-dominating control. The pseudo-lover gets to write the universal law of the relationship all by themselves and control the matrix pseudo-reality in their own mind of the perceived feelings, intentions, and actions of the entity “they supposedly love and who also unconditionally loves them.” There is no respect, objectivity, or natural balance; no freedom, in this pseudo-love relationship. It is all contrived and proclaimed “undeniable and unquestionable choice by the pseudo-loved one,” that is unless a rebellion eventually takes place to erupt the reality which has been so suppressed by the pseudo-lover. Without the natural balance of mutual objective observation and the absence of bullying authority (over-nurturers and over-dominators), willful freedom and choice cannot exist, and thus pseudo-love is revealed to be the supreme bastard or bizzaro antichrist that it truly happens to be. Love is the farthest ideal, energy, and force, from such willfully blinding delusion and possession, that can possibly be fathomed.

Furthermore, it is an impossibility for an individual to genuinely love one entity and pseudo-love another. The forces of disrespectful destabilization, delusion, and control, or the forces of respectful stabilization, objective universal awareness, and nurtured freedom, rule the complete psyche and the soul of a person in the end. If a transition occurs, it may stumble slightly for a moment in no man’s land, but then it will either reverse course completely once again until it arrives back at its original state of non-love or evolve into a creature of predominant and unending love. Most, by far, fail to evolve. Sticks and stones and love may break my bones, but words and tall tales of pseudo-love seem like they will never hurt me.

Once, a person I had begun to date and expose myself to in the fulminant expressions of love, found herself in what I would call a supremely paradoxical dilemma. She on the other hand, seemed unfettered and much more indifferent than I could fathom when she once replied to me “You are everything that I have been looking for my entire life, absolutely everything, but I’m just not ready for that right now.” I should have listened better at that time and believed the words instead of listening to the hope within my own heart. A very similar scenario played out in my life at least once more to the same degree of paradoxical befuddlement on my behalf. It was beyond me at both times to resolve how these women could refuse, kill, or walk away from, not me specifically, but from the force of love itself which was unquestionably emanating from my soul.

It took me a long time to realize that most people don’t mean most of what they say. It took me a longer time to realize that you can only generate and perfect your own love and that no matter how precious and immaculate and graceful that love happens to be, it will still never be capable of forcing a unwilling soul against their will to submit to its blissful blessing and transcendence.

Is that sad and depressing or hopeful and encouraging? I’m not really sure, but I believe it might be both. Maybe if anything it means for those of us trying to spread the light and make a difference in this existence, we must focus on not trying to show or touch others with our love so much as trying to help them perceive, understand, and experience, the subtle, temptible, and counterintuitive differences, between pervasive enacted pseudo-love and the oh so much more rare and exquisite truth. The difference of evolution in every single one of us from being an unrecognized bully to becoming an entity of predominate unending love seems to me now to be the primary catalyst for the required epiphany. We must not trumpet and shine our end state of grace and true love about to attract others to the flame, but focus instead upon remembering, sharing, and relating to, where we ourselves once were; where we came from, where we all come from, and then, we might be better able to relate and encourage others to seek where we all might go together.

Cribb          2018

Being an Abomination at a Pep Rally Play (Warrior Poet Mental Yoga 245)

I suggest that the highly aware who also most often happen to be the non-conforming, feel alone in the presence of the herd because the herd demands conformity (consciously and/or subconsciously) and obliteration of such individual awareness. The aware non-conformist seeks union and true socialization (genuine engagement and interaction with others), but the herd only pretends to participate in such behavior. The non-conformist wants to participate in a genuine and meaningful conversation or experience, while the herd seems to be in a continuous process of attempting to out-mundane one another in meaningless banter and base amusement. Trying to genuinely interact with the thespians of the herd while being the sole outlier entrapped within their production of  overwhelming pretend and artificial behavior produces an unresolvable skism in the psyche of alienation, disappointment, confusion, and the feeling of being an unrelatable abomination to the rule/norm, even if that rule/norm isn’t anything more than some empty pervasive drama. The false feeling and perception of not enjoying “the company of others” which often confounds the nonconforming outlier is in actually the feeling of being frustrated by having to endure intolerable hollow, superficial, and meaningless interaction of this no sustenance “pep rally play” with those others.  And despite the obvious nature of all of this waste of sharing reality and negation of commingling sustenance, the supreme sin remains only the act of letting your poker face and poker posture fail to maintain and enable the illusion of your joyous participation in that damned “pep rally play.”

When the highly aware are alone or in a true pack of stability and acceptance, aka a pack founded on non-delusional respect, they spread their wings and they soar, individually and collectively, in embracing the graces and wonders of existence that are meant to be celebrated by all of us on a continuous basis. Genuine union and transcendence with others is the key as opposed to the pretend/fake pseudo-union with others that most prop up as being the supreme manifestation of our social engagement and expression of brotherly love.

Cribb          2018