If You Can Just Answer the Question (Warrior Poet Mental Yoga 251)

She was always the victim. It did not matter how much effort I willingly expended to be with her or how many uplifting and supportive direct compliments I gave her which she simply refused to hear or how much I stabilized her entire pack. She was always the victim unless she got to be the silent bully and do whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted, without complete consideration of the ultimate consequences to the entire pack, the pack that she said she loved. She was broken. I knew why and I had pity and empathy and resounding faith in her fractured spirit that it would choose to heal itself instead of slinking deeper into false excuses of fear and victimization; deeper into withdrawal from objective reality so that she might rule her own universe without question, without balance. . . without her having to expend the vulnerable effort and posture of maintaining respect for someone she could not control.

I said “I need you to do this for me. Name one time, anytime at all in his whole life, that your father hasn’t considered himself the victim. Just one time, anytime, that he wasn’t always running around doing whatever the hell he wanted to despite the wishes of and responsibilities to his wife and children. Even as he was over-dominating you and breaking your spirit as a little girl, he was always the victim, always, right? I’m not talking about blame right now. I’m just talking above his behavior and his perception. If you can just answer that question, you’ll break through, you’ll see it. So, tell me please, tell me one time in your father’s entire lifetime that he wasn’t the victim in his own mind while he bullied everyone else around him.”

She started crying, but she refused to answer the question and in doing so, in turning away from her fear of reality, she reset the cycle to continue in its revolutions of delusion, madness, and suffering.

Cribb          2018

To Choose Fear or Love for All, That is the Question (Love vs Sex 255)

If you have to look down to a more dependent or submissive entity to believe in love, what is it that you can’t see, appreciate, or find, when you look up?

And if you can’t believe in love by perceiving and acknowledging the worth and grace of a more independent stable dominant entity, how in the hell can you believe that you can genuinely love something of less existential vivacity and grace?

You may choose to love or not to love. That is your choice, your willful choice, but you may not, you may not bastardize love into a force or energy that you personally control and apply to creatures who are only dependent on or submissive to you. That isn’t love. So, don’t get that energy or force that you are conveniently attempting to rewrite and market as “love” confused with genuine love.

An energy which is only applied unilaterally to lesser or submissive creatures, no matter how much you want to advertise it as the exact polar opposite, is nothing more than fear.

To choose fear or love for all, that is the question.

Cribb          2018

Love, Pseudo-Love, and Catalytic Epiphanies (Love vs Sex 254)

 

Once you learn to truly love, the hard part is not continuing forevermore down that path. The hard part is finding another who has achieved the same capability. I don’t think love ever gives up on anyone. I don’t think it can be extinguished under any circumstance. It can get a little frustrated and disappointed by denials, by being bastardized and scapegoated to supposedly be something that it isn’t, and even by simple fearful withdrawals away from its presence, but it can’t be killed or snuffed out or tainted once you accept its graceful presence. It doesn’t go away. It doesn’t leave with another. Your soul remains eternally graced, energized, and titillated by love if you ever truly found and embraced love in the first place. Overwhelmingly, it appears to me that most have never experienced love and I don’t say that to be critical, demeaning, or higher than thou. Such a deficit or waste is tragic and beyond sorrowful for the individual and for the rest of the world. What is counterly pervasive is for almost everyone to vehemently pretend that they do feel or that they have been in love even when the objective blaring black and white inconsistencies of not having such a force in their relationship(s) proves their easily proposed verbal bloviating naive at best. Love is not your bitch to bully or rewrite. You can’t hoodwink her ass and get her to give you a standing ovation for the exceptional playacting you practice and enact rigorously in some warped projective false hope of affirmation. Love doesn’t buy your slutty sales pitch. Love doesn’t buy at all, nor does it sell. You don’t run from love out of fear, because if you have ever been touched and possessed by love, as we all should be, you already know that love is the vanquisher, the only vanquisher, of fear. To run from, deny, or turn away “love” is not what it pretends to be. It is the fear of having to relinquish and surrender yourself to a higher power, beyond your control, that exists outside of a conforming world where all interaction is and has been based on fear. It is a running away from, a denying of, or a turning away from the possibility that fear can and should be escaped and released forevermore.

Pseudo-love provides the most common excuse for those who have never loved to pretend and portray their passionate agape, eros, philia, or storge. The key to recognizing this pseudo-love is that the person of exalted declaration or expression of supreme emotional empathy and concern will always be in control (or believe that they are in control) of the entity or entities that they supposedly love. The observed relationships which are most often associated with the expression of this pseudo-love include single parent to child, owner to dog, and bully mate to non-bully mate. In each of these instances, the overwhelming dynamic is of bully or over-dominating control. The pseudo-lover gets to write the universal law of the relationship all by themselves and control the matrix pseudo-reality in their own mind of the perceived feelings, intentions, and actions of the entity “they supposedly love and who also unconditionally loves them.” There is no respect, objectivity, or natural balance; no freedom, in this pseudo-love relationship. It is all contrived and proclaimed “undeniable and unquestionable choice by the pseudo-loved one,” that is unless a rebellion eventually takes place to erupt the reality which has been so suppressed by the pseudo-lover. Without the natural balance of mutual objective observation and the absence of bullying authority (over-nurturers and over-dominators), willful freedom and choice cannot exist, and thus pseudo-love is revealed to be the supreme bastard or bizzaro antichrist that it truly happens to be. Love is the farthest ideal, energy, and force, from such willfully blinding delusion and possession, that can possibly be fathomed.

Furthermore, it is an impossibility for an individual to genuinely love one entity and pseudo-love another. The forces of disrespectful destabilization, delusion, and control, or the forces of respectful stabilization, objective universal awareness, and nurtured freedom, rule the complete psyche and the soul of a person in the end. If a transition occurs, it may stumble slightly for a moment in no man’s land, but then it will either reverse course completely once again until it arrives back at its original state of non-love or evolve into a creature of predominant and unending love. Most, by far, fail to evolve. Sticks and stones and love may break my bones, but words and tall tales of pseudo-love seem like they will never hurt me.

Once, a person I had begun to date and expose myself to in the fulminant expressions of love, found herself in what I would call a supremely paradoxical dilemma. She on the other hand, seemed unfettered and much more indifferent than I could fathom when she once replied to me “You are everything that I have been looking for my entire life, absolutely everything, but I’m just not ready for that right now.” I should have listened better at that time and believed the words instead of listening to the hope within my own heart. A very similar scenario played out in my life at least once more to the same degree of paradoxical befuddlement on my behalf. It was beyond me at both times to resolve how these women could refuse, kill, or walk away from, not me specifically, but from the force of love itself which was unquestionably emanating from my soul.

It took me a long time to realize that most people don’t mean most of what they say. It took me a longer time to realize that you can only generate and perfect your own love and that no matter how precious and immaculate and graceful that love happens to be, it will still never be capable of forcing a unwilling soul against their will to submit to its blissful blessing and transcendence.

Is that sad and depressing or hopeful and encouraging? I’m not really sure, but I believe it might be both. Maybe if anything it means for those of us trying to spread the light and make a difference in this existence, we must focus on not trying to show or touch others with our love so much as trying to help them perceive, understand, and experience, the subtle, temptible, and counterintuitive differences, between pervasive enacted pseudo-love and the oh so much more rare and exquisite truth. The difference of evolution in every single one of us from being an unrecognized bully to becoming an entity of predominate unending love seems to me now to be the primary catalyst for the required epiphany. We must not trumpet and shine our end state of grace and true love about to attract others to the flame, but focus instead upon remembering, sharing, and relating to, where we ourselves once were; where we came from, where we all come from, and then, we might be better able to relate and encourage others to seek where we all might go together.

Cribb          2018

The Secret Bully Adult who was Once an Abused Child (Warrior Poet Mental Yoga) 229

A person who has been previously abused by a parent, but who did not suffer absolute  obliteration of their spirit and drive as a result, will often display unique, conflicting, and paradoxical behavior towards different people in their adult life.

For those they perceive as being submissive to them or nonthreatening, more specifically noncontrolling, in any shape, form, or fashion, they will conduct themselves as laid back, aloof, and free spirited. This is their “excuse” to rationalize to themselves that they haven’t grown up to become the same type of bully that their abusive parent was. This is pseudo-behavior or convenient mimicry. A bully can always appear laid back or aloof or even fairy like as long as they are getting their way regarding everything that they want at the moment. It can be even further confusing and enabling to such a bully if they happen to be a teacher, business owner, or similar person in a position of authority and those who are subservient to them shower them with praise for being so fair and honest and understanding. But, we must remember subservience is the key to the reality in these cases, not the praise.

You will not see the true colors of such a bully come out until they have to compromise or share or yield to better judgement in a relationship that might temper their spoiled brat behavior and impulsivity of action. You will not see them display anxiety or suffer from significant delusional perception (PTSD if you will from their previous parental abuse) until they interact with a person who is more dominant than themselves. The dominant interaction or challenge is the trigger to their selective delusion because they viscerally sense that such dominance perceives the genuine reality of all of their bully behavior.

This bully will counter the true dominant figure in one of three ways. First, they will try to charm the dominant into letting them continue to get away with their spoiled brat antics forever by suggesting that “it’s just the way they are or just the way that God made them.” This, of course, is only an elaborate excuse for them to be selfish and not have to answer to any other authority figure. Secondly, they will bombard the dominant with delusional parameters, assumptions, and fears, in an attempt to destabilize and overwhelm the dominant into “caving their better judgement” or “over-nurturing” them because of their supposed “trials and tribulations.” Third, they will create a self fulfilling prophecy of events and perceptions that will implode the relationship while putting the blame on the scapegoat dominant, so that they can escape the dominant oversight, and resent in a relationship with a submissive to retain the confidence of their previous pseudo-personality.

The greatest and almost insurmountable fear of this secret bully adult who was once an abused child is that they might become their abusive parent. Because of such fear this type of bully will go to any length whatsoever to avoid recognizing the reality of what they have allowed themselves to become via reverse imprinting. That includes the sacrifice of a loving mate and the perpetual destabilization of their own children. This dynamic can easily inflict severe mental illness and suffering on future generations before they even have a chance to protect themselves or understand that they are being imprinted upon. It is imperative that this pattern of behavior be brought to light for consideration and open discussion with those who have suffered from an abusive parent.

Cribb          2018

Giving the Masters More Money, Blood, Sweat, or Tears (Warrior Poet Mental Yoga 210)

Do you think that the american slaves were ever told by their masters that if they worked harder and helped their masters generate more revenue for themselves, that they (the slaves) would then be set free or at least have their standards of life significantly improved? Sounds good, doesn’t it? But isn’t a man (a corporation or any other institution), capable of having the power to be a slave owner and choosing to do so, almost always irrevocably going to remain a slave owner unless he is overthrown and stripped of his power? Giving a slave owner, a master, more money, blood, sweat, or tears almost always just emboldens the slave owner to double down on his oppression and plundering of others, doesn’t it?

Cribb          2017

Hero Bullies versus Us (Warrior Poet Mental Yoga 206)

Our society has indoctrinated us, taught us from birth, what normal is and what to expect from it. It has taught us the capitalistic lesson of the hero bully, the champion over-dominator, who gets to rise above all others and hoard all of the resources and power that he so chooses to do. We have been taught from birth that everyone is an individual entity unto to themselves, bearing responsibility, performing sacrifice, and reaping reward only as an individual. It is never “us” because that always allows the excuse of plausible and discardable deniability; enables the embodiment of a scapegoat to wash away all the sins of the herd, so that the herd may always go marching merrily away in celebration of its deniability. Only in the rare instances of kissing a hero bully’s ass as part of the court graced by his power and prestige or when begging for the scrumptious scraps he has thrown off of his throne, does the “us” get subtly remembered as part of the human condition and whispered ever so hopefully to the hero bully in the name of favorable submissive leverage; only then. But even still, the long hand of the court or of the herd engaged in worshipping the hero bully, retains the reflexive instinct to fold their “us card” in a moments notice, should their bully hero fall from his grace and power as a high achieving over-dominator. We raise the hero bully up in our society only so long as it benefits us personally and we do so in particular because that bully operates in direct contradiction to the balance of natural order, respect, and empathy, that we would otherwise have to endure ourselves. He delivers us into our own happy diabolic debasement. And when we are done with our selfish machinations that he has enabled, we gleefully cut him down so that we may look at him nailed upon a cross instead of our own souls.

The hero bully is your mate, controlling you with money, sex, a marriage certificate, or the presence of a child.

The hero bully is your employer, making you work for less than you deserve and forcing you into unethical and immoral behavior towards others that benefits his business just because he can.

The hero bullies are the corporations and businesses which drain you dry via perpetual psychological warfare, but are nonetheless, nice enough to do their best to make you feel like you are exceptionally special and smart in your purchasing habits and indebtedness.

The hero bullies are the political leaders of bombast, hyperbole, and vitriol. Those who ramp up your emotions and hatred of others while they compulsively lie about everything so that they may pilfer your pocket and your personal freedoms unheeded.

The hero bully can even become your child or your dog if you tragically allow such to happen.

All of this is wrong and heinous. It isn’t natural. It is an orchestration to turn natural order, respect, and a true understanding of communal union upside down. It is the modus operandi of madness, instability, and isolation which is only capable of being addicted to over-dominating and plundering everything outside of itself.

Understanding this paradigm is the first essential step necessary for an individual to comprehend if they truly desire to foster, promote, and nurture, the universal behavior and relationships necessary to create a better world for all.

Cribb          2017

Shattering Shackles and Straightening Spines (Warrior Poet Mental Yoga 203)

Pretext Note: I own and operate a veterinary hospital.

My employees should be thankful that they have a job at my clinic, under my authoritarian rule. They should perpetually pledge and display their unquestioning allegiance and utmost loyalty to the protection, defense, and future thriving wellbeing of my business which they are only too fortunate to be employed by. To help them remember how fortunate they are under my leadership and in this relationship, I have them salute my company logo every morning when they get to work. My employees are not allowed to have their own opinions or beliefs about anything that could be even remotely associated with my business at any time during work hours or off hours. They are not allowed to contradict or question anything I say, because if I unintentionally or even intentionally mislead a client, I have a great reason to do so; to prioritize and protect the revenue of the company and that revenue is what puts the food on those employee’s tables. As an employee, their public behavior always reflects the spirit and image of the clinic and that is just simply much more important to their lives and salary than their individual concerns, beliefs, thoughts, or interests. The company truth is much more important than their individual truth if they want to continue benefitting from the worker’s paradise that I have created for them. They need to remember their place. They need to remember how much I have sacrificed and how hard I have worked to build this company that gives them the opportunity to work. They didn’t have to go to school as long as I did or even compete against others to earn my higher degree which allows this business to operate. They have not risked everything for the business like I have. They need to be appreciative, quiet, and compliant. They need to know where their bread is buttered. They need to know who is always in charge. They need to know the consequences of not obeying my policies and decrees. They need to know the fear of unemployment and starvation, so they appreciate all that they are lucky enough to benefit from as an employee of my business. The choice to work for my business in the free market conditions of our country is a blessing for them beyond reasonable expectation. They should never be unappreciative or disrespectful to me or my business.

That’s sadly how it works at most businesses and institutions in this day and age, including those of higher learning and from what I know, the military. That’s all bullshit. A bully authoritarian system of suppression implemented by fear and psychological manipulation. It is the exact opposite of respect and of freedom. The exact opposite of stabilization and co-existent harmony. I don’t care if it’s now the norm. I don’t care if it contains minute amounts of truth in its distorted and twisted philosophy. It’s wrong. It’s at the center of dead wrong and such an approach harms everyone in its dynamic.

Humanity must do better. We must learn to genuinely and profoundly respect one another again. We must stop celebrating the glutinous and destabilizing mad king mentality and our doublespeak doublethink marketing of such antics and behavior as that of the returning Savior. Marketed or propagandized truth cannot and will not set anyone free, but the true truth, the real reality, shatters shackles and straightens spines. That true truth, that real reality,  is the mandatory gatekeeper and ward necessary to set all of us free and in doing so, to lift everyone of us up in respectful nurturing mutual union.

Cribb          2017