Won’t You Not Play the Game with Me? (The Veterinarian)

For those who might be interested, this is a short poetic note about myself and some of the stressful forces which impact upon the practicing of my profession and the owning/operating of my veterinary hospital. I often fancifully refer to the hospital as the Castle. May these words be taken in the spirit of which they are offered; for greater understanding and the hope that we may all come together to work towards what is the most nurturing and best balanced system for all.

It disgusts me how much the corporate world stands in my shadow, deceptively and manipulatively sucking out almost all of the revenue I can generate in my trade by being a fair and ethical small business person. These entities figured out a long time ago how to put “face men” out there to disguise the intricate ponzi scheme of their diffuse market possession and “behind the curtain” price control they impose on all consumers. The current “capitalistic” system is designed for us to be nothing more than masked puppets for these juggernaut parasites. It equally disgusts me how much the government rapes me over and over in exponential fashion. The amount of taxes I pay for my income and property is egregious, insane, and unfair.

It would seem to me that the underlying lesson taught by both the government and the corporate world is that a man of independence and ethical preference is suppose to break himself of these tedious tendencies and desires. . . because, as they say, “you gotta make a living” or “you gotta make your fair share” or “you gotta play the game like everyone else, that’s just the way it is.” And sooner or later, maybe the system will take me out. I have been close a number of times, much closer than you probably believe, but if it happens one day, it just happens, because you see, I can’t play the game. A game that turns me into a relentless lying and tax evading prick or a bastardized up-selling unethical DVM corporate puppet that has to screw my customers over to generate a decent income for my effort and expertise, has at its victory the death of my honor, the loss of all of my integrity, and ultimately, the suicide of my humanity and the values of existence which make it worth experiencing. This I remind myself.

So, I just wrote a check to the United States Treasury for an absurd amount related to estimated taxes while I’m doing my best trying to get caught up on all of my other bills that cannot be paid from that extracted/allocated amount, but my day goes on with the Castle roof above my head and the Castle gardens flourishing all over the grounds. The magic is alive around here. . .you can feel it; it always holds up pretty good against the petrifying spell of money’s love potion and the wicked withering brought about by its whispered and temptable chants.

There is enough magic everywhere for everyone, but it isn’t to be found in a upsold suicidal game of plundering.

Won’t you not play the game with me?

Cribb          2017

The Orwell you don’t know – 2 (WPMY 134)

The fact is that in passages like that to which I have referred, and in numerous other places in this part of the book, Mr. Orwell is still a victim of that early atmosphere, in his his home and public school, which he himself has so eloquently exposed. His conscience, his sense of decency, his understanding of realities tell him to declare himself a Socialist: but fighting against this compulsion there is in him all the time a compulsion far less conscious but almost—though fortunately not quite—as strong: the compulsion to conform to the mental habits of his class. That is why Mr. Orwell, looking at a Socialist, smells out (to use a word which we have already met in another connection) a certain crankiness in him; and he finds, as examples of his crankiness, a hatred of war (pacifism), a desire to see woman no longer oppressed by men (feminism), and a refusal to withhold the knowledge which will add a little happiness to certain human lives (birth control).

This conflict of two compulsions is to be found again and again throughout the book. For instance, Mr. Orwell calls himself a “half intellectual”; but the truth is that he is at one and the same time an extreme intellectual and a violent anti-intellectual. Similarly he is a frightful snob—still (he must forgive me for saying this), and a genuine hater of every form of snobbery. For those who can read, the exhibition of this conflict is neither the least interesting nor the least valuable part of this book: for it shows the desperate struggle through which a man must go before, in our present society, his mind can really become free—if indeed that is ever possible.  

Forward to The Road to Wigan Pier (Orwell 1937)

Victor Gollancz           1937

The Make of a Man (WPMY 126)

It is not the banner borne, the religion, nor the philosophy chosen

that matters so much,

but the comprehension and processing of awareness

and the dynamic focal ability of such

coupled with

the conditioned posture and willing vulnerability

of the heart

that makes the man

and thus,

the pack he leads.

Cribb          2016

Making the World Safe for Animals and Spirits (WPMY 123)

“If you want to make the world safe for animals and spirits, you must have a system that reduces the amount of fear and greed and hatred and domineering to their minimum, which means that you must have enough economic security to get rid at least of that source of worry. Enough personal responsibility to prevent people from wallowing in sloth. Enough property to protect them from being bullied by the rich, but not enough to permit them to bully. And the same thing with political rights and authority—enough of the first for the protection of the many, too little of the second for domination by the few.”

“Sounds like peasants to me,” said Pete dubiously.

“Peasants plus small machines and power. Which means that they’re no longer peasants, except insofar as they’re largely self-sufficient.”

“And who makes the machines? More peasants?”

“No; the same sort of people that make them now. What can’t be made satisfactorily except by mass production methods, obviously has to go on being made that way. About a third of all production—that’s what it seems to amount to. The other two-thirds are more economically produced at home or in a small workshop. The immediate, practical problem is to work out the technique of that small-scale production. At present, all the research is going to the discovery of new fields of mass production.”

After Many a Summer Dies the Swan

Aldous Huxley          1939

The Heaviness and Lightness of Love (L vs S 222)

But is heaviness truly deplorable and lightness splendid?

The heaviest of burdens crushes us, we sink beneath it, it pins us to the ground. But in the love of poetry of every age, the woman longs to be weighed down by the man’s body. The heaviest of burdens is therefore simultaneously an image of life’s most intense fulfillment. The heavier the burden, the closer our lives come to the earth, the more real and truthful they become.

Conversely, the absolute absence of a burden causes man to be lighter than air, to soar into the heights, take leave of the earth and his earthly being, and become only half real, his movements as free as they are insignificant.

What then shall we choose? Weight or lightness?

The Unbearable Lightness of Being

Milan Kundera          1984


Warrior Poet Mental Yoga 116

Over-dominating can not be countered or corrected by over-nurturing, nor can over-nurturing be countered or corrected by over-dominating. Such an approach leads to schizophrenic instability. Each destabilizing approach to control must be countered with balance and appropriate respect. Balance is stability and stability counters the instability induced by not one or the other, but by both over-dominance and over-nurturing. This balance, this effort of established stability, is the gift and grace of independence and of devout love.

Cribb          2016

Perceptions of Ourselves and of Others

There are essentially three different categories of clients that you get as a veterinarian. These same categories also apply to how people relate to their pets, their friends, their children, and their lovers. It is very important to understand how the three categories of people interact with you and just as important for you to understand which category you belong to when interacting with others.

The first category believes that you are a god incapable of ever doing the wrong thing or making a mistake or being inept in any degree whatsoever. If you committed an act of gross malpractice or overt negligence or temporary asinine insanity, even under their direct crystalclear observation, they would still deny that you ever did anything remotely close to the sort. This category of clients rewrites objective reality to make you into a unquestionable and sacrificial beacon of light or the always fair and just performer of medical miracles or a veterinarian of superhuman powers that has no susceptibility to kryptonite or any other power within the universe.

The second category is of those who are persistently skeptical, excessively judgemental, passively-aggressively condescending, and prone to confrontation in damn near every approach, exchange, and/or interaction that they have with you. One might rationally wonder why someone of this ilk and apparent mindset towards you would continue to choose to remain a steadfast participant in such a dynamic. Despite the answer to that telltale answer, it is important that you understand that this category of client does exist and it exists in one form or another as a large, if not the largest category percentage of the whole client base. This type of client will always find something wrong with your approach or your recommendations or your actual actions. Such might not be consistent with Dr. Google’s or their next door neighbor’s opinion on veterinary medicine or they might deem your recommendations simply way too expensive and unnecessary or sometimes they may just outright criticise, demean, and defame your current or past performed medicine and/or surgery. There tends to be little to nothing that you may do in actual skill, expertise, communication or intent to temper, alter or rectify their overcritical and incredulous mindset and interactive behavior. The closest that you may come to mitigating this category of client is through the offering of a undeserved discount/refund or by subjugating yourself into an inappropriate submissive posture while in their presence. Even these mitigations only satiate this category for the briefest period of time and after such an attempt, each future exchange with them with involve a progressive escalation in their bullying behavior.

The first and second categories of clients are essentially the same from a psychoanalytic perspective. Most might argue that the two are diametrically opposed and that the first is empathic, caring, and full of love, while the second is mean, ugly, bullying, and unappreciative. There is a partial truth to this view, but the greater truth, the absolute of the displayed behavior and interaction in both cases, is that those of both category one and category two suffer from significant egocentric delusion. They both live in their own head and they interact with a pseudo-world of pseudo-experience and pseudo-truth. You might call it their own “matrix” of existence. And though the individual techniques of each category vary somewhat, both are founded on them “controlling reality” by “rewriting” your true essence. In actual effect, they are negating you. They don’t see you, they don’t hear you, they don’t even know who and what you truly are…..and all of that means they really don’t want to know or that perhaps, they are too frightened or fearful of reality to want to even take the chance of finding out what your true essence might be. I do not suggest that most of these people are consciously aware of their behavior and their associated “rewritten” projections of justification which validate their psyches approach towards others. I do believe that in the majority of these cases their psyche seeks such ongoing validation (actually manufactured) to comply (maintain the illusion) with an inherent survival mechanism it adopted willingly or unwillingly at a much earlier stage of development. In other words, to survive or adapt to whatever circumstances they perceived in early childhood, the majority of people withdraw their “reality” from actual reality and repackage it as a world full of people who they either must approach through persistent mistrust, doubt, criticism, and condemnation or endless forgiveness, excessive praise, submissive enablement, and unhealthy sacrifice.

Both approaches take many subforms and some of those subforms can be extremely subtle. They are not always obvious and they do not always rise to the surface of behavioral interaction. But regardless of the intensity of the outward expression, either approach establishes an imbalance and pathology in any relationship it engages in. This fact should never be overlooked or undervalued. A relationship that a person has with a false/rewritten you, whether built up or torn down, is still never a true relationship with you. At a minimum, you must identify those people you interact with that behave in either fashion and not allow their delusion to impact negatively upon your perception and understanding of yourself and the rest of reality. Removing the delusions or at least incapacitating their distractive impact, allows one to focus more on accurate self-evaluation and thus objective self-existence. This is of paramount importance in attaining peace and learning to truly love yourself, and both of these acts are essential for you to be able to form healthy synergistic relationships of nurturing union and transcendence with others.

(To be continued…)

Cribb          2015