The Real Dog, Child, and Everything Else (Warrior Poet Mental Yoga 176)

Pretext Note: I am a veterinarian and I have come to believe that comparative analysis of  the parallels between human to pet interaction, human to human interaction, and isolated human behavior to isolated animal behavior, is extremely helpful in illustrating and understanding the root causes of obsessive compulsive disease (drive disorders), mental instability (anxiety, fear responses, bully behavior), and egocentric projective delusion (the misunderstanding of the reality of the situation/disorder which prevents appropriate assessment and intervention/correction by external authorities as well as the victim themselves).

It is unfortunately true that many, if not the majority of, pet owners have little idea or minimal understanding about the genuine and undeniable behavior of their dog (pets in general). Pet owners are often masterful at creating and projecting intentions, motivations, and feelings onto their dog that simply have no foundation or basis in objective truth and behavioral analysis. I am not saying that it is easy for anyone to achieve the enlightened state of genuinely understanding behavior (over the projected distraction and confusing glitches in our own psyche). It took me a very long time (43-45 years in fact) that had to be coupled with an enormous amount of effort, awareness, intellect, observation, introspection, and a supreme desire to see beyond the pervasive satiating delusions that we all tend to be infected with from birth. It also took some luck at being fortunate enough to come into contact with someone who is exceptionally gifted in understanding behavior. My behavioral observations and conclusions have been challenged extensively by my own critical scrutiny and they stand solid and true in repetitive conclusion and application.

The most common response I receive from pet owners when I try to explain the true behavior of their dog is knee jerk denial and often scornful skepticism. Instead of listening and contemplating, being appreciative for the expertise of my words and explanation, most seem unsettled and agitated by the truth because it doesn’t fit in line with their preferred misperceptions and assumptions about their dog. In essence, the information I provide often shatters the illusion of what the owner has rewritten their dog to be for their own perceptional comfort. The rarer dog owner embraces the reality and revelation about their pet with appreciation and often good hearted humor. The more common dog owner honestly seems to dislike having to confront the reality of the situation even when such is required to address/treat a problem which they have come to me to inquire about.

This same misperceptive projecting glitch and egocentric delusional rewriting of another also occurs with many parents towards their children.

This same misperceptive projecting glitch and egocentric delusional rewriting of another (others) also occurs with many in regards to everything and everyone else.

It is always tragic, for such projective delusion blinds the perceiver from ever experiencing reality outside of their own head. Additionally, a dog, a child, a mate, a socioeconomic class, a foreign country, and whatever other entity, can never be seen, appreciated, understood, or stabilized/aided until such projective delusion and egocentric rewriting is shed from the perceiver’s soul.

Cribb          2017

The Veterinarian 102

I thought it might be interesting to post a video of some silly “in action” stuff at the hospital that doesn’t involve philosophy or politics or trying to change the world for the better. Maybe, a little silly reality is just as important as the rest of it. I promise to continue to work on my ums and editing skills.

The Veterinarian 100

I see behavioral issues occurring in puppies on a very frequent basis at my hospital. It is a product of misperception, misunderstanding, self-projection, and the general anthropomorphic tendencies of people (pet owners). These issues are best addressed in the early developmental stages of the puppies life to prevent him or her from becoming over-dominant, over-submissive, or simply mal-social. Trying to get people to understand and acknowledge this objective fact, the more than obvious improper behavior in their puppy, is challenging at best. Often, when you explain that the puppy is throwing a temper tantrum and being a brat, the owner chooses instead to see the behavior otherwise…like the little puppy only needs more “love, understanding, and excessive coddling” because it is just nervous and scared (of me, the hospital, or the world in general).

That is until I explain that the puppy’s inappropriate and unstructured behavior parallels the worst behavior ever exhibited by the persons most controlling, over-dominant, moody, and disrespectful boyfriend or girlfriend. Then sometimes, I can connect with the owner and together, we can get started on establishing a system of proper balance and structure for the puppy.

Funny…..the excuses, tolerant rationale, and submissiveness we often inject into our own psyche and behavior towards a puppy and the corresponding doubt, intolerance, and over-dominance we apply in relation to our human significant other.

Jeff Cribb DVM          2016

The Veterinarian – Down to the Bone

The Setting: Exam room one at some point in time on almost any given day.

Me: “Hi. How is Sam doing? Any problems at home?”                

Mom: “No, not really. He’s good…just doing some biting, teething stuff…”

Young Son: “Yeah. He bit dad down to the bone.” 

15 week old puppy: Hiding under the client chair, he resists coming out and as the technician reaches down to pick up the puppy, his ears go up and back while his tail noticeably drops and his posture shifts to a suggest anxiety and instability.

Technician (Secret Behavioralist): Pauses for the briefest of moments in his movement, letting me know he sees and registers exactly what I see, before proceeding to gather the puppy, pick him up, and put him on the table. His hands are expertly positioned on the puppies neck and throat to indicate to the puppy through canine behavior that he is being appropriately dominated, and thus, he should refrain from misbehaving (challenging us through biting or wiggling or yelping….very much like a child throwing a temper tantrum).

Me: I start my exam on the puppy, who is behaving pretty good, and look at mom. “Is he challenging you in other ways at home…like jumping up on you or growling when you get near his food or toys?”

Mom: “Not really. He jumps up on us a good bit, but I think he’s just being a puppy….he might growl a little, but I don’t think it’s serious or anything to worry about.” She has a blissful can’t- be-disturbed with any care in the universe smile stretching across her face and her body posture is laid back and relaxed in a matter-of-fact way as she sits on the exam room chair-bench, arm and elbow behind her head, listening and responding. 

Technician (Secret Behavioralist): Slightly increases the flexion of his forehead skin creases, nods his head ever so slightly down and to the right, and twists his lip mass slightly to the left, all as a sparkle begins to glean in his eyes and the corners of his lips lift in inner humor and bedazzlement. 

Me: Short glance to the technician followed by a brief, but pronounced expiration. 

Telepathy: &$@%#~*#=$¥*!…all humorous….sad…astounding….disappointing….and ultimately, tragic…a’round and round we go. 

Me: Redirects a more serious, but still friendly and playful glance back at mom. “Well, Sam is challenging you a lot and that could become a big problem. His body language….doggie language, if you will, is displaying signs of fear and some instability which could easily get worse. We see this happen a lot. I know we have talked about this before, but I am going to try and give you a way to understand which of his behaviors are acceptable and which are bad and potentially very bad. Anytime he does something to you or anyone else, I want you to consider that it is your son or even a grown man like myself doing the same thing to you or the other person.  In other words, if he jumps up on you, consider that I just ran over there and jumped up on you……and if he bites you, consider that you son is biting you with the same intensity….and if he growls at you, even a little, consider that me threatening you…just a little. Okay? I know it sounds silly, but I promise you this is very important.”

Mom: Smiling, smiling, smiling…happy, happy, happy. Relaxed as all get out. No worry lines. “Okay.”

My Mind: *&$%$*#@*&%@!

Telepathy: #!*^%$# &*!!@%*….he’s gonna eat them…maybe it’s better that way…but the kid seems pretty cool…hope he doesn’t get hurt.

Me: As I finish my exam, “Is he humping anything at home? Do you ever see him do that?”

Mom:  “Oh yeah…everything. He does that all the time to whatever is around…”

Young Son: “What???? What is humping?”

Mom: “Nothing…nothing….don’t worry about it…Shhh.”

Technician (Secret Behavioralist): Snicker…baby laugh…snort.

Me: Looking directly at mom. “Humping is a sign of dominance in a puppy…it is not sexual at this age….it has nothing to do with it…he is trying to dominate everything he is humping. He is declaring his ownership of anything he humps. You need to be aware of that…it ties in with what we already talked about.”

Mom: “Okay.” Smile, smile, smile.

Me: “Alright, we are done here today and we’ll see you back one more time in three weeks for your final puppy boosters. The receptionist will check you out and set you up for the next appointment. Thank you. We appreciate it.

Technician (Secret Behavioralist): With an enormous grin worthy of a clown, he looks friendly and playfully at the child and says “You got the line of the day…’down to the bone!’….no doubt about it….’down to the bone'”

Telepathy: No doubt…no doubt.


Cribb          2014