Hyperfocus (Warrior Poet Mental Yoga 234)

If you can hyperfocus on:

1) A, then can you also hyperfocus on B?
2) blue, then can you also hyperfocus on red?
3) exercise, then can you also hyperfocus on being sedentary?
4) eating obsessively, then can you also hyperfocus on anorexia?
5) sex, then can you also hyperfocus on abstinence?
6) being faithful to a mate, then can you also hyperfocus on being an unfaithful adulterer?
7) ingesting meat with every meal, then can you also hyperfocus on being a vegetarian or a vegan?
8) reading, then can you also hyperfocus on never reading and watching movies instead?
9) accumulating material goods, then can you also hyperfocus on being a minimalist?
10) being resentful and unappreciative, then can you also hyperfocus on being appreciative?
11) emotional volatility, then can you also hyperfocus on emotional stability?
12) being anxious, depressed, and distracted from incorporating reality into your existence and your awareness, then can you also hyperfocus on being relaxed, happy, and mindful in incorporating reality into your existence and awareness?

The difference isn’t the target, it’s the choice of the target, and often that individual’s choice hinges on whatever fear or socially attentive benefit has been sown into their psyche regarding that choice.

A person either possess the drive and ability to hyperfocus on any chosen subject, action, item, or ideal, or they do not. “Relative hyperfocus” is a choice (even if it has been traumatically marked and induced by PTSD or other overwhelming abuse/fear), not an instinctual or naturally occuring mandate.

Cribb          2018

Sentenced to the Electric Chair (Warrior Poet Mental Yoga 230)

Imagine you had been sitting in an electric chair for 44 years and the whole time you were sitting there, you were hyper-aware of your pain and the overwhelming sensation and reality of the insanity and chaos throughout existence. Imagine you could handle all of that, take all of that pain, all of that awareness, and that even though it had scorched you more than most could endure for longer than a few hours. . . you had survived because for some unknown and perhaps silly reason, you were really strong. Imagine, that what really hurt you. . . what tore at you and hurt you so much more was that you could see most everyone else sitting voluntarily, eagerly in their very own electric chairs, strapping their own children and their own animals into the same type of torture device as soon as was possible. . . you could see couples grinning at each other as they flipped each others switches to fry one another’s brain and one another’s heart and one another’s soul; all the while making their children watch so they could learn how to embrace such a lifelong infectiously shocking existence themselves. Imagine, you were a witness to it all. . . and you were doing everything in your power to turn off the electricity, but all of those people just kept grinning and grinning and grinning at each other while they flipped and flipped and flipped those switches. Imagine.

Cribb          2014

The Secret Bully Adult who was Once an Abused Child (Warrior Poet Mental Yoga) 229

A person who has been previously abused by a parent, but who did not suffer absolute  obliteration of their spirit and drive as a result, will often display unique, conflicting, and paradoxical behavior towards different people in their adult life.

For those they perceive as being submissive to them or nonthreatening, more specifically noncontrolling, in any shape, form, or fashion, they will conduct themselves as laid back, aloof, and free spirited. This is their “excuse” to rationalize to themselves that they haven’t grown up to become the same type of bully that their abusive parent was. This is pseudo-behavior or convenient mimicry. A bully can always appear laid back or aloof or even fairy like as long as they are getting their way regarding everything that they want at the moment. It can be even further confusing and enabling to such a bully if they happen to be a teacher, business owner, or similar person in a position of authority and those who are subservient to them shower them with praise for being so fair and honest and understanding. But, we must remember subservience is the key to the reality in these cases, not the praise.

You will not see the true colors of such a bully come out until they have to compromise or share or yield to better judgement in a relationship that might temper their spoiled brat behavior and impulsivity of action. You will not see them display anxiety or suffer from significant delusional perception (PTSD if you will from their previous parental abuse) until they interact with a person who is more dominant than themselves. The dominant interaction or challenge is the trigger to their selective delusion because they viscerally sense that such dominance perceives the genuine reality of all of their bully behavior.

This bully will counter the true dominant figure in one of three ways. First, they will try to charm the dominant into letting them continue to get away with their spoiled brat antics forever by suggesting that “it’s just the way they are or just the way that God made them.” This, of course, is only an elaborate excuse for them to be selfish and not have to answer to any other authority figure. Secondly, they will bombard the dominant with delusional parameters, assumptions, and fears, in an attempt to destabilize and overwhelm the dominant into “caving their better judgement” or “over-nurturing” them because of their supposed “trials and tribulations.” Third, they will create a self fulfilling prophecy of events and perceptions that will implode the relationship while putting the blame on the scapegoat dominant, so that they can escape the dominant oversight, and resent in a relationship with a submissive to retain the confidence of their previous pseudo-personality.

The greatest and almost insurmountable fear of this secret bully adult who was once an abused child is that they might become their abusive parent. Because of such fear this type of bully will go to any length whatsoever to avoid recognizing the reality of what they have allowed themselves to become via reverse imprinting. That includes the sacrifice of a loving mate and the perpetual destabilization of their own children. This dynamic can easily inflict severe mental illness and suffering on future generations before they even have a chance to protect themselves or understand that they are being imprinted upon. It is imperative that this pattern of behavior be brought to light for consideration and open discussion with those who have suffered from an abusive parent.

Cribb          2018

The Truth in Self-Annihilation (WPMY 137)

In course of time I was more and more conscious, too, that this affliction was not due to any defects of nature, but rather to a profusion of gifts and powers which had not attained to harmony. I saw Haller was a genius of suffering and that in the meaning of many sayings of Nietzsche he had created within himself with positive genius a boundless and frightful capacity for pain. I saw at the same time that the root of his pessimism was not world contempt but self-contempt; for however mercilessly he might annihilate institutions and persons in his talk he never spared himself. It was always at himself first and foremost that he aimed the shaft, himself first and foremost whom he hated and despised.

And here I cannot refrain from a psychological observation. Although I know very little of the Steppenwolf’s life, I have all the same good reason to suppose that he was brought up by devoted but severe and very pious parents and teachers in accordance with that doctrine that makes the breaking of the will the corner-stone of education and upbringing. But in this case the attempt to destroy the personality and to break the will did not succeed. He was much too strong and hardy, too proud and spirited. Instead of destroying his personality they succeeded only in teaching him to hate himself. It was against himself that, innocent and noble as he was, he directed during his whole life the whole wealth of his fancy, the whole of his thought; and in so far as he let loose upon himself every barbed criticism, every anger and hate he could command, he was, in spite of all, a real Christian and a real martyr. As for others and the world around him he never ceased in his heroic and earnest endeavor to love them, to be just to them, to do them no harm, for the love of his neighbor was as deeply in him as the hatred of himself, and so his whole life was an example that love of one’s neighbor is not possible without love of oneself, and that self-hate is really the same thing as sheer egoism, and in the long run breeds the same cruel isolation and despair.

Steppenwolfe

Hermann Hesse          1927

The Majority of Power and the Minority of Not; A Sick Cycle of Blame and Reincarnating Crucifixion (WPMY 128)

The majority of power most often trains the minority of not

to become as foul, overbearing, unbalanced, and oppressive

as they themselves happen to be.

Then,

the majority looks back upon their damaged and broken child,

the extrinsic manifestation of their philosophies and behavior,

the Frankenstein that they have brought to life in their own deplorable image,

and they despise the irrefutable evidence reflected so pristinely in a mirror of reaping.

The avoidance of wandering gaze and ignorance impossible,

majority sins must be shed in the undeniable burden they bear.

Upon the minority lamb they fall

in excusing demonization,

to ripen for sacrificial slaughter and bountiful fruiting distraction.

Washed in blood and its pooled reflection,

We slaughter the lamb,

We kill our enemies,

We subjugate our workers,

We destabilize our own children, our own pets, and our own mates.

We even travel to the future to conquer the rebellious robots of our creation.

Our Father who art in heaven,

Hallowed be our delusion.

Our kingdom come,

Our will be done,

In heaven as it is on earth.

Give us this day,

More than our brothers,

More than our need,

And hold us not in account for any of our Debts,

Nor any of our greed,

Forgive us our trespasses,

As we crucify the scapegoat embodiment of our own relentless madness and sin,

And let us not see nor hear nor speak of our own sick and utterly hypocritical behavior,

But deliver us from all awareness and the keeping of our brothers.

Forever and ever,

Amen.

Cribb

2016

A Little Girl Becomes a Woman (LvsS 215)

A little girl has been raised

without her parents instilling in her

a proper sense and understanding

of the appropriate boundaries of respect and responsibility.

This all too common failure of parenthood,

occurred over a prolonged period of time,

during the crucial developmental stages of the girl,

in a variety of direct and indirect destabilizing parental behaviors.

One day,

the little girl’s unbridled selfishness that has been fully enabled and potentiated

by her parents incompetence,

manifests itself in full blazing glory,

when she overtly disrespects her mother

in a combination of ignoring her and eventually, yelling at her.

The mother responds by telling her daughter to go immediately to her room for timeout,

so that she can rethink and reset her bad behavior.

Before the little girl takes the first step towards her room,

she screams at her mom,

“You’re the worst and meanest mommy ever, I hate you!”

The little girl grows into an adult woman

without any additional stabilizing psychological growth or true understanding

of her selfish and insecure

adaptations and misperceptions.

One day,

her boyfriend who loves her devoutly and genuinely,

and has proven such beyond reasonable measure,

calls her out appropriately on some of the disrespectful and inappropriate behavior

she is directing at him.

And no matter how clear his words are,

no matter how sincere his proclamations of love and empathy,

no matter how much time and effort he takes to explain his concerns,

feelings,

and thoughts to her,

all she can do is say

“You’re the most unrelaxed, demanding, critical, abusive boyfriend ever.”

Cribb          2016