A Tempest of Simplicity (Love vs Sex 251)

I lost my heart

to a tempest of simplicity,

and once I was caught

beyond my will and desire

to escape such an odd manifestational paradox,

I realized that there was no tempest before me,

but only the vivacious rippling and vibrational energy

of contact, melding, and attempted integration

of two existences

which are so oft

catastrophically cleaved from one another;

between a soul of heaven and a world of unknowing flesh;

between crucifixion by the many, knowingly or not,

for the grace shown and proffered by the one;

between an attempted revival enacted by empathy and faith upon apathy and despair;

between the primordial forces of chaotic entropy and the stable orchestrations of synergistic and harmonious union.

It wasn’t a tempest at all

but the orbiting gates of heaven spinning, swirling, and dancing upon the earth.

And deeper

within that skin and those bones,

it was a fragment of heaven itself,

grace undulating incarnate.

An aspect of an essence, I now knew that I had always belonged to as well.

There was no fleeing from its path,

no attempted escape,

there needn’t be,

because there was no fear.

There was only a desire to join with it in a yin and yang of the most joyful appreciation imaginable;

to love it for the simple and pure sake of knowing that it also loved freely, respectfully, and without abandon, anything capable of such energy and attention.

My heart,

my soul,

my essence,

my appreciation and desire,

my compulsive joy and laughter,

had once again,

been simply called home to union with my tribe,

to the inclusive energy and bond of heaven’s blessing and it’s amazingly profound grace.

Cribb          2018

Orgasm, Agenda, Assimilation, Need, and the Tides (Love vs Sex 249)

But fun for me was sneaking off to peer into a tidal pool to grasp the intricacies of the creatures that lived there. Sustenance for me was tied to ecosystem and habitat, orgasm the sudden realization of the interconnectivity of living things. Observation had always meant more to me than interaction. He knew all of this, I think. But I never could express myself that well to him, although I did try, and he did listen. And yet, I was nothing but expression in other ways. My sole gift or talent, I believe now, was that places could impress themselves upon me, and I could become a part of them with ease. Even a bar was a type of ecosystem, if a crude one, and to someone entering, someone without my husbands agenda, that person could have seen me sitting there and had no trouble imaging that I was happy in my little bubble of silence. Would have had no trouble believing I fit in.

Yet even as my husband wanted me to be assimilated in a sense, the irony was that he wanted to stand out.

“Ghost bird, do you love me?” he whispered once in the dark, before he left for his expedition training, even though he was the ghost. “Ghost bird, do you need me?” I loved him, but I didn’t need him, and I thought that was the way it was supposed to be. A ghost bird might be a hawk in one place, a crow in another, depending on the context. The sparrow that shot up into the blue sky one morning might transform mid-flight into an osprey the next. This was the way of things here. There were no reasons so mighty that they could override the desire to be in accord with the tides and the passage of seasons and the rhythms underlying everything around me.


Jeff Vandermeer          2014

I did not know (Love vs Sex 247)

And I felt that I never wanted to leave that room, I did not want dawn to come, I did not want the atmosphere that enfolded me to be dissolved. I felt that my dreams and thoughts and prayers were living things, living there in the darkness with me, hovering about my bed and standing over me. And every thought I had was his thought, and every feeling his feeling. I did not know then that this was love — I thought that it was something that often happened, a feeling to be enjoyed and taken for granted.

Happily Ever After

Leo Tolstoy          1859

It is Little to Give (Love vs Sex 246)

“What is there I can give you? Love, it is true.”

“And is that so little?” I asked looking into his eyes.

“Yes, my dear, it is little to give you,” he went on. “You have beauty and youth. Often now I cannot sleep at night for happiness: I lie awake and think of our future life together. I have lived through a great deal, and I think I have found what is needed for happiness: a quiet, secluded life here in the depths of the country, with the possibility of doing good to people to whom it is easy to do good which they are not accustomed to receiving; then work – work which one hopes may be of some use; then leisure, nature, books, music, love for a kindred spirit – such is my idea of happiness, and I dreamed of none higher. And now, to crown it all, I get you, a family perhaps, and all that the heart of man could desire.”

“It should be enough,” I said.

“Enough for me whose youth is over, but not for you,” he pursued. “You have not seen anything of life yet. You may want to seek happiness elsewhere, and perhaps find it in something different. At present you believe that this is happiness because you love me.”

Happily Ever After

Leo Tolstoy          1859

Cribb Comment: I am extremely fond of this passage. Tolstoy reveals the hard to tell truth about love that most do not want to hear or even come close to contemplating; it must be grandiose and dramatic, fervent and uber passionate, and a thrill ride of unending emotional hype, stimulation, and volatile exchange, never just basic, simple, easy, and quietly profound in its energy and transcending bond. He also touches on the attainment and understanding of happiness in life which requires a security and willful stability in individual perspective and contentment of purpose. His promotion of the importance of untainted and unhypocritical good will towards his fellow man is also captured elegantly and succinctly by “doing good to people who are not used to such things and doing so without forcing this “good” upon them in an overstep of intent.” Lastly, his point of youth and its hunger, aware or unaware, for more than love, for more than genuine happiness, is presented with the unselfish tenderness and empathy of a saint. It is an undeniable truth that most youthful “old souls” can’t quite accept about themselves and their overriding desire. They seem unable to digest that real happiness and real love might just be too pure, obtainable, and stable, for the premises and constructs they have anchored into their psyche as defining a normal existence.

I would have preferred for Tolstoy to postulate a manner or theory in which these two characters could have worked together to address and resolve the youthful subconscious yearnings (their burden of misunderstood nervous and excitable egocentric energy) of the wife more effectively and profoundly. It would seem that Tolstoy might believe such a transition utterly impossible without the context of further life experience to curb and temper such youthful yearning.


The Answer (Love vs Sex 243)

 The Answer

The world is upside down. The answer is never fear. Never. The answer isn’t defensive posturing or preemptive attacks. It isn’t subjugation, deceptive manipulation, intentional misrepresentation, enablement, fostering of delusion, hoarding, war, addiction, organized religious placation, or any other form of over-dominance and pathological preparedness.
The answer is unrelenting love. It’s not a fairytale or something I say lightly or flippantly. I understand the cost and the risk involved in such love and those things simply put, just don’t fucking matter. They never really did. True love walks on water and over coals, it survives alone in the frigid cold and empty darkness, and it has not the slightest concern over the substantial cost of what it must pay or the risk it must endure to offer its energy so freely to another. Love dwells on hope and union and blissful happiness, not skeptical reservation, nor doubt, nor fear.

Love everyone and everything with all of your essence and all of your might, all of it and more, until the association creates unnecessary persistent suffering within your own soul. You must take the first step. You must make the offering, the sacrifice, until proven otherwise. It doesn’t make you a fool or an idiot. It makes you an angel blazing in the glory of God…..in the graceful glory of love.

At the point of persistent suffering you must remove the direct connection of your offering. Love’s duty is not to suffer at the hand or boot of another. It suffers enough in its own pure balanced state. To do otherwise, indicates a disrespect of yourself and the purity of your own love. Accepted persistent suffering is accepted distraction and detraction from the transcendence and implementation of love.

Walk away when you must, but never cut the love out of yourself. Don’t change your posture. Don’t change your approach. Don’t assume a pathological pattern in others will repeat, even if it might. It’s irrelevant. Your love should never stop, never be deterred, never withdrawn, even if it must be continually redirected to flow in some other direction.
When you obtain a truly pure state of love, you realize it applies to all of existence. You don’t get to pick and choose where your individual love goes. It flows freely to where it is needed, where it is sought, and where it will find its most magnetic bond of unity to ultimately achieve its greatest catalytic effect on existence.

We all live a life that is primarily based on fear or love. Most have deluded themselves into believing that they have chosen love as their guide stone, when in fact and in deed, the markers of their fear run rampant throughout their existence and their orbit. The behaviors of over-dominance and over-nurturing are prime indicators of those ruled or simply controlled by fear. Toggling back and forth between those behaviors is most often misinterpreted by people as some form of spiritual healing or spiritual growth, when in fact it only depicts the definitive absence of love.

When you truly become a creature of love through and through, the fear and anxiety and the swinging pendulums fade away. All that is left is love, and then you realize that you have no desire or time to waste on any of the other nonsense. It is an absolutely titillating and resounding epiphany. It is the moment of your true birth and the beginning of a beautiful existence.

Cribb          2016

Answer the Question (Love vs Sex 242)

Why am I with you?
Please answer the question.

You’re with me because you love me.

And why do I love you?
What is at the core of my love?

You love me because I am aware, empathetic, and intelligent.

Yes, but what impact do those traits have upon me?
You have other traits too that are not as positive, that could be considered detractors or significant negatives. So, why do your positive traits outbalance your problems and the challenges they present to me?

I guess that even though sometimes it’s difficult to be with me, you believe that the good outweighs the bad.

Maybe in part, but that’s not really the answer. Why would I choose to stay with you? People don’t just stay with someone because they love them. Love itself is not enough and it has never ever really been enough to justify a true commitment to a relationship. Love is awesome all by itself, but commitment to a relationship of love is on a different level. So, why would I choose to stay with you?

I suppose because you believe in me.

Bada-boom, bada-bang, we have a winner! I guess late is better than never! It would not be so bad of an idea to try and remember that. . . may indefinitely or perpetually or something along those types of temporal parameters. Let me help you out one more time, just to get you started again. . . I believe in you, butthead.

Cribb          2017

The Contorted, Twisted, and Bastardized Form of “Love”, We have All been Taught to Believe is Ideal (Love vs Sex 237)

Written by Percy Sledge and first recorded in 1966, “When a Man Loves a Woman” hit a cultural nerve. The song shot to the top of both the Billboard Hot 100 and R&B charts. Another version, recorded twenty-five years later by Michael Bolton, also went straight to the top of the charts, and the song now sits at number 54 on Rolling Stone’s list of the five hundred greatest songs of all time. Nothing is more prominent than love and sex in Western media, and “When a Man Loves a Woman” is an example of the message whispered in romantic ears throughout the world.

What does Mr. Sledge have to say about a man’s love for a woman? What are the signs of true masculine love? Copyright restrictions won’t allow us to quote the song’s lyric in full, but most readers know the words by heart anyway. To review, when a man loves a woman:

  • He becomes obsessed and can’t think of anything else.
  • He’ll exchange anything, even the world, for her company.
  • He’s blind to any fault she may have, and will abandon even his closest friend if that friend tries to warn him about her.
  • He’ll spend all his money trying to hold her attention.
  • And last but not least, he’ll sleep in the rain if she tells him to.

We’d like to suggest an alternative title for this song: “When a Man Becomes Pathologically Obsessed and Sacrifices All Self-Respect and Dignity by Making a Complete Ass of Himself (and Losing the Woman Anyway Because Really, Who Wants a Boyfriend Who Sleeps Out in the Rain Because Someone Told Him Too?).”

Sex at Dawn

Ryan and Jethá          2010