What This is all About

There are two ideas or themes that immediately dominate the consciousness of my contemplation when I ask the simple question of what “This” is all “About”.

The first, is a quote, presented to me by a woman I once knew. I strongly suspect, she borrowed the quote, but in the end, it is the quote, the meaning ascribed to such, and her sharing of it, that matters most, not the “borrowing” or “claiming” or “possession” of its origin. Beauty and truth flow most resound and fervently through continual propagation and remain as relative constants in the flux of life’s perpetual madness and chaos. A priority placed upon the static focus of “possession” or “claim” seems more apt to antagonize, obstruct, and decimate these same tendrils of beauty and truth, that ultimately, could be the primary graces necessary for all of us to obtain true awareness, peace, and their product, happiness. The quote goes something like this, “The real world does not apply to you. It is only an excuse. Pay no mind to it, for you are a creature of a different sort, and excuses do not rule you.” I know that through  minimal investigation, I could discover the true source of this quote, identify its factual essence instead of its paraphrased aura, and connect many “things” to it that I am currently unaware. I prefer instead for it to stand in my mind singularly, as it does. This quotes meaning and non-meaning are inherently the subjects of all of my writing; specifics of such illustration will present themselves in the future pages of this blog.

The second construct is composed of what my youthful mind, suffering from its limited awareness and a subconscious survival mechanism that had been self-imprinted upon its psyche in “the wee hours of the morning”, chose to initially perceive and define as “a profound love for animals.” This reflexive concept, oddly enough, seemed to be off the table of my ruthless skepticism and analytic paranoia, until my application for veterinary school required an essay explaining “Why I wanted to be a veterinarian?” And yes, the official mumbo-jumbo terminology certainly posed the question more objectively, while being shrouded in a mist of professionalism, but essentially, it was still that same question. Let’s just say my initial attempts at answering the question were fairly pitiful and without sustenance. Those attempts amounted to little more than: “I want to be veterinarian because I love animals more than everyone else in the world who incidentally also thinks they love animals more than anyone else in the world. I mean, I really, really, really, love animals and I want to show everyone and every animal how much I love them.” Egad, the insanity!, the incompleteness of thought, the veiled dots connecting to dots and other dots everywhere, the twisting of a Tao of Pooh approach, way, way, way too far. My camera was pointed at the correct subject, but it was a subject that was extremely out of my focus. The person responsible for helping me adjust my focal point was a veterinarian. I don’t remember his name and I don’t recall any other personality traits of his character that struck me as particularly noteworthy or of role model caliber. But, in one conversation with him about the subject of my essay, he challenged me to think beyond regurgitation and the easy contentedness of distorted focus. I am not sure that I even believed the revised proclamation of my “Why” at its genesis, but I knew that a veterinarian had called me out for sounding like an idiot, and that required “something…..anything that sounded better…anything more plausible and noble….even if it wasn’t true.” My revised “Why” in succinct description, spoke of the preeminent importance of quality of life for all creatures and how a scientific approach to the subject was imperative to understand all of the intricacies and relativities involved. In my opinion, the veterinarian was the quintessential archetypal figure who watched over the earth as it should be; via the combination of his pursuit of scientific observation, theory, and application with his appropriately balancing empathy and regard for the quality of existence for all life, and that was damn-well who I wanted to be. This “Why” did make the cut for admission to veterinary school, but it also went further than I had expected. The words had a power and a meaning that became more accurate in context than I had ever suspected or intended. The truth had secretly slid out of my subconscious in a haphazard manner to help my ego achieve its selfish objective, but then it unexpectedly also decided to plop down in my consciousness as a permanent resident. Now whether that resident sits in that location as merely an objective and impartial observer or more in the roll of a heckler, to remind me constantly of the price of conviction, is another question and story unto itself, but nonetheless, the presence of that resident cannot be denied. This blog is also “about” watching over the earth and applying scientific observation in measure with empathy and compassion so that I may reasonably contribue as much as is possible to improving the quality of life for all of existence.

If you choose to follow my words, you will no doubt notice at times, a self-righteous prick sitting across the table from you, or an insecure, cowering child huddled within himself in the confines of a corner, or a manic, joyful soul who frolicks freely without the concern of boundaries of any sort, or a lover who knows more about you than you do yourself and seeks not just the possession of your body, but also of your heart and your soul, or you might see a healer, or an Alpha-male, or a sissy, or a friend, or a foe, or just what you want to see, but whenever you see those people or those images, I would recommend taking a moment to consider that maybe, just maybe, you are looking more into a reflection of yourself and your own fears, than you are at me and my words. Maybe we are both prone to looking more at self-reflections and fears than at the true entity of one another. And perhaps, with the vehicle of words, we will be able to overcome this challenge, and clarify our meanings and thoughts and intents with oneanother, so that the excuses of the real world will become irrelevant and the quality of existence for all life will benefit from our increase in more accurate collective awareness. This is my hope.

Jeff Cribb DVM

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