Love, Pseudo-Love, and Catalytic Epiphanies (Love vs Sex 254)

 

Once you learn to truly love, the hard part is not continuing forevermore down that path. The hard part is finding another who has achieved the same capability. I don’t think love ever gives up on anyone. I don’t think it can be extinguished under any circumstance. It can get a little frustrated and disappointed by denials, by being bastardized and scapegoated to supposedly be something that it isn’t, and even by simple fearful withdrawals away from its presence, but it can’t be killed or snuffed out or tainted once you accept its graceful presence. It doesn’t go away. It doesn’t leave with another. Your soul remains eternally graced, energized, and titillated by love if you ever truly found and embraced love in the first place. Overwhelmingly, it appears to me that most have never experienced love and I don’t say that to be critical, demeaning, or higher than thou. Such a deficit or waste is tragic and beyond sorrowful for the individual and for the rest of the world. What is counterly pervasive is for almost everyone to vehemently pretend that they do feel or that they have been in love even when the objective blaring black and white inconsistencies of not having such a force in their relationship(s) proves their easily proposed verbal bloviating naive at best. Love is not your bitch to bully or rewrite. You can’t hoodwink her ass and get her to give you a standing ovation for the exceptional playacting you practice and enact rigorously in some warped projective false hope of affirmation. Love doesn’t buy your slutty sales pitch. Love doesn’t buy at all, nor does it sell. You don’t run from love out of fear, because if you have ever been touched and possessed by love, as we all should be, you already know that love is the vanquisher, the only vanquisher, of fear. To run from, deny, or turn away “love” is not what it pretends to be. It is the fear of having to relinquish and surrender yourself to a higher power, beyond your control, that exists outside of a conforming world where all interaction is and has been based on fear. It is a running away from, a denying of, or a turning away from the possibility that fear can and should be escaped and released forevermore.

Pseudo-love provides the most common excuse for those who have never loved to pretend and portray their passionate agape, eros, philia, or storge. The key to recognizing this pseudo-love is that the person of exalted declaration or expression of supreme emotional empathy and concern will always be in control (or believe that they are in control) of the entity or entities that they supposedly love. The observed relationships which are most often associated with the expression of this pseudo-love include single parent to child, owner to dog, and bully mate to non-bully mate. In each of these instances, the overwhelming dynamic is of bully or over-dominating control. The pseudo-lover gets to write the universal law of the relationship all by themselves and control the matrix pseudo-reality in their own mind of the perceived feelings, intentions, and actions of the entity “they supposedly love and who also unconditionally loves them.” There is no respect, objectivity, or natural balance; no freedom, in this pseudo-love relationship. It is all contrived and proclaimed “undeniable and unquestionable choice by the pseudo-loved one,” that is unless a rebellion eventually takes place to erupt the reality which has been so suppressed by the pseudo-lover. Without the natural balance of mutual objective observation and the absence of bullying authority (over-nurturers and over-dominators), willful freedom and choice cannot exist, and thus pseudo-love is revealed to be the supreme bastard or bizzaro antichrist that it truly happens to be. Love is the farthest ideal, energy, and force, from such willfully blinding delusion and possession, that can possibly be fathomed.

Furthermore, it is an impossibility for an individual to genuinely love one entity and pseudo-love another. The forces of disrespectful destabilization, delusion, and control, or the forces of respectful stabilization, objective universal awareness, and nurtured freedom, rule the complete psyche and the soul of a person in the end. If a transition occurs, it may stumble slightly for a moment in no man’s land, but then it will either reverse course completely once again until it arrives back at its original state of non-love or evolve into a creature of predominant and unending love. Most, by far, fail to evolve. Sticks and stones and love may break my bones, but words and tall tales of pseudo-love seem like they will never hurt me.

Once, a person I had begun to date and expose myself to in the fulminant expressions of love, found herself in what I would call a supremely paradoxical dilemma. She on the other hand, seemed unfettered and much more indifferent than I could fathom when she once replied to me “You are everything that I have been looking for my entire life, absolutely everything, but I’m just not ready for that right now.” I should have listened better at that time and believed the words instead of listening to the hope within my own heart. A very similar scenario played out in my life at least once more to the same degree of paradoxical befuddlement on my behalf. It was beyond me at both times to resolve how these women could refuse, kill, or walk away from, not me specifically, but from the force of love itself which was unquestionably emanating from my soul.

It took me a long time to realize that most people don’t mean most of what they say. It took me a longer time to realize that you can only generate and perfect your own love and that no matter how precious and immaculate and graceful that love happens to be, it will still never be capable of forcing a unwilling soul against their will to submit to its blissful blessing and transcendence.

Is that sad and depressing or hopeful and encouraging? I’m not really sure, but I believe it might be both. Maybe if anything it means for those of us trying to spread the light and make a difference in this existence, we must focus on not trying to show or touch others with our love so much as trying to help them perceive, understand, and experience, the subtle, temptible, and counterintuitive differences, between pervasive enacted pseudo-love and the oh so much more rare and exquisite truth. The difference of evolution in every single one of us from being an unrecognized bully to becoming an entity of predominate unending love seems to me now to be the primary catalyst for the required epiphany. We must not trumpet and shine our end state of grace and true love about to attract others to the flame, but focus instead upon remembering, sharing, and relating to, where we ourselves once were; where we came from, where we all come from, and then, we might be better able to relate and encourage others to seek where we all might go together.

Cribb          2018

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