Loving Only or Loving All (Love vs Sex 235)

When seventeenth-century Jesuit missionary Paul Le Jeune lectured a Montagnais Indian man about the dangers of the rampant infidelity he’d witnessed, Le Jeune received a lesson on proper parenthood in response. The missionary recalled, “I told him that it was not honorable for a woman to love any one else except her husband, and that this evil being among them, he himself was not so sure that his son, who was there present, was his son. He replied, ‘Thou has no sense. You French people only love your own children; but we all love all the children of our tribe.’

Sex at Dawn

Ryan and Jethá          2010

Animalistic Sexuality (Love vs Sex 234)

Our unique brains result from our chatty sociability. Though debate rages concerning precisely why the human brain grew so quickly, most would agree with the anthropologist Terrence W. Deacon when he writes, “The human brain has been shaped by evolutionary processes that elaborated the capacities needed for language, and not just by a general demand for greater intelligence.”

In a classic feedback loop, our big brains both serve our need for complex, subtle communication and result from it. Language, in turn, enables our deepest, most human feature: the ability to form and maintain a flexible, multidimensional, adaptive social network. Before and beyond anything else, human beings are the most social of all creatures.

We have another quality that is especially human in addition to our disproportionately large brains and associated capacity for language. Perhaps unsurprisingly, it is also something woven into our all-important social fabric: our exaggerated sexuality.

No animal spends more of its allotted time on Earth fussing over sex than Homo sapiens—not even the famously libidinous bonobo. Although we and the bonobo both average well into the hundreds , if not thousands, of acts of intercourse per birth—way ahead of any other primate—their “acts” are far briefer than ours. Pair-bonded “monogamous” animals are almost always hyposexual, having sex as the Vatican recommends: infrequently, quietly, and for reproduction only. Human beings, regardless of religion, are at the other end of the libidinal spectrum: hypersexuality personified.

Human beings and bonobos use eroticism for pleasure, for solidifying friendship, and for cementing a deal (recall that historically, marriage is more akin to a corporate merger than a declaration of eternal love). For these two species (and apparently only these two species), nonreproductive sex is “natural,” a defining characteristic.

Does all of this frivolous sex make our species sound “animalistic”? It shouldn’t. The animal world is full of species that have sex only during widely spaced intervals when the female is ovulating. Only two species can do it week in and week out for nonreproductive reasons: one human, the other very human like. Sex for pleasure with various partners is therefore more “human” than animal. Strictly reproductive, once-in-a-blue-moon sex is more “animal” than human. In other words, an excessively horny monkey is acting “human,” while a man or woman uninterested in sex more than once or twice a year would be, strictly speaking, “acting like an animal.”

Sex at Dawn

Ryan and Jethá          2010

So I have to go Away (Warrior Poet Mental Yoga 145)

She said, “There comes a time when everybody has to choose to be a human being or a beast.” I chose but I didn’t find out it wasn’t nice until later. That’s why I didn’t learn arithmetic. I kept sliding lower and lower in my seat until I was sitting on the floor under the table. Crawled around for a long time looking at legs and socks and shoes and finally I couldn’t resist and bit this goldy-pink calf just below the knee in back. There was a lot of yelling and trouble. After that I had to sit up straight and look at the board but I wanted to be crawling around under the table and couldn’t pay attention. There are a lot of people in the world and they are almost all silly and disgusting. If I see too much of them I begin to think I’m like them. Want to die and not see myself again. And they all give me trouble. Just by being there if nothing else. About the most disgusting thing they do is die. Only way to stop that is kill them all off. Turn them all into mud. Stop this awful constant dying. Just blast them all away at once so I can forget about them. But they don’t go away and I don’t have a button. So I have to go away. I always wanted to go away but I knew too much about consequences. Consequences is why the little man runs down the track in front of the train instead of jumping out of the way. He doesn’t know what the consequences would be. He doesn’t know what’s to either side of the tract and he’s running too fast to look. But he’s got to come to the point where he jumps anyway, regardless of the consequences. Or maybe he doesn’t. But I do.


Katherine Dunn          1971

Fear, Without and Within (Warrior Poet Mental Yoga 144)

We should all be careful not to propagandize and scapegoat our own fear, nor belittle or invalidate the fear of others. These are all too common mistakes and they usually occur in tandem. Fear shifts your psyche into hyper-focus and/or hyper-withdrawal/denial, both of which discount a greater unifying reality. Fear is infectiously destabilizing and we must remove it to see and understand everything in its proper objectivity and consequence. Displaying emotional volatility, “interpreting” another’s thoughts or intentions only via your own psyche, and implementing co- or counter destabilization antics are the primary indicative behaviors of a person whose perceptions are possessed by fear. If you ever want to have a meaningful and genuine exchange with such a victim of fear, you must first stabilize them and thus their perceptions. All will be meaningless until stabilization is achieved; reality will have no meaning, impact, or relevance. Reinforcing fear or instability in another, though often tempting and instinctive, is tragic and it makes any future attempt at a meaningful interaction with them that much more difficult. Reinforcing fear or instability in another also inevitably corrupts your own psyche, condemning you to possession by the same soul-sucking demons. Fear cannot be fought with fear, within or without. It can only be diminished or extinguished with respect and stability. Given such, perceptions of objective reality may then work their wonders through the simplicity of genuine existence.

Cribb          2016

How Women and Paternity Became Private Property along with Everything Else (Love vs Sex 233)

Clearly, the biggest loser (aside from slaves, perhaps) in the agricultural revolution was the human female, who went from occupying a central, respected role in foraging societies to becoming another possession for a man to earn and defend, along with his house, slaves, and livestock.

“The origins of farming,” says archeologist Steven Mithen, “is the defining event of human history—the one turning point that has resulted in modern humans having a quite different type of lifestyle and cognition to all other animals and past types of humans.” The most important pivot point in the story of our species, the shift to agriculture redirected the trajectory of human life more fundamentally than the control of fire, the Magna Carta, the printing press, the steam engine, nuclear fission, or anything else has or, perhaps, ever will. With agriculture virtually everything changed: the nature of status and power, social and family structures, how humans interacted with the natural world, the gods they worshipped, the likelihood and nature of warfare between groups, quality of life, longevity, and certainly, the rules governing sexuality. His survey of the relevant archaeological evidence led archaeologist Timothy Taylor, author of The Prehistory of Sex, to state, “While hunter-gatherer sex had been modeled on an idea of sharing and complementarity, early agriculturalist sex was voyeuristic, repressive, homophobic, and focused on reproduction.” “Afraid of the wild,” he concludes, “farmers set out to destroy it.”

Land could now be possessed, owned, and passed won the generations. Food that had been hunted and gathered now had to be sowed, tended, harvested, stored, defended, bought, and sold. Fences, walls, and irrigation systems had to be built and reinforced; armies to defend it all had to be raised, fed, and controlled. Because of private property, for the first time in the history of our species, paternity became a crucial concern.

But the standard narrative insists that paternity certainly has always been of utmost importance to our species, that our very genes dictate we organize our sexual lives around it. Why, then, is the anthropological record so rich with examples of societies where biological paternity is of so little or no importance? Where paternity is unimportant, men tend to be relatively unconcerned about women’s sexual fidelity.

Sex at Dawn

Ryan and Jethá          2010

Unnoticing Small Unempathic Acts (Warrior Poet Mental Yoga 143)

We should be mindful that unempathetic acts can have long-term consequences. Consider that back in 1542 Martin Luther wrote a pamphlet entitled Against the Jews (calling on Catholics to attack them) in which he advocated burning synagogues and destroying Jewish homes. Four hundred years later the young Adolf Hitler quoted Martin Luther in Mein Kampf to give his own Nazi racist views some respectability, going on to create the concentration camps like the one nine-year-old Thomas Buergenthal was in, with gas chambers that ended up killing 6 million Jews. This shows how dangerous it can be if small unempathic acts go unnoticed. My cousin Sacha (whose comic character Borat exposed contemporary anti-Semitism by posing as an anti-Semite himself) quotes Cambridge historian Ian Kershaw’s chilling phrase: “The path to Auschwitz was paved with indifference.

The Science of Evil

Simon Baron-Cohen          2011

Some Choose Instead to Vote the Other 364 Days (Warrior Poet Mental Yoga 142)

Voting reminds me a lot of a person’s birthday or Valentines Day or even Christmas itself. It is a day in which we can loudly herald our passion and conviction; our ever vigilant effort and action, towards emphatically displaying our love for another or our commitment to making the world a better place for all…….or is it?

Three hundred and sixty-five or one? The awareness, the contemplation, and sincere effort, of three hundred and sixty-five or the same for just one? It’s a great marketing day and the approval stamp of the applauding and all too well compliant herd is all over it. It is a one that can supposedly wash away all the sins, apathy, and hypocrisy of the other three hundred and sixty-four. See how I love my wife…..I bought her some wilting picked over-roses, some discounted hum-drum chocolates, and a fabulous Hallmark card imprinted with a unique and exquisite message from the core of my being? How many people gloriously celebrate the Christ child’s birth by drinking themselves into oblivion on his namesake day as he requested in his eleventh commandment? I voted. I voted. I voted. Look at my sticker!…..I voted! and if you did not, you don’t have the right to say anything…anything, about our leadership or this country. People died for your right to vote, don’t you get that, how could you give up or discount such a privilege?

I don’t believe those people died or gave their lives, energy, and effort, to establish and support a deceptive and beguiling system where voting is in part, or perhaps in complete entirety, only a satiating illusion. That would be silly and suggest less of them, demeaning their character, awareness, and contribution. The Electoral College is deliberately complicated and deceptive to the general public. The frequent references to our form of government by our bipartisan leadership as a democracy is intentionally deceptive and misleading. Representation is not proportional, nor truly representative of the people. The blackout, smearing, misdirection, and propaganda of the mass media significantly sabotages Third-Party considerations and candidates. Political discourse is progressively dumbed down by our governing elite and their puppets to default the public into a perpetual state of destabilized fear, ignorance, and willful submission. And conversely, laws, public policy, and other matters of debate are also willfully over-complicated and bogged down with misleading minutia to hoodwink public perception and understanding. When such doublespeak, marketing, propaganda, inundation, limitation, complication, and multitiered over-organization is thrust upon the people and the process, I find it impossible to believe that a ballot can truly even be what it is suppose to be or that the powers of authority have any sincere concern or obligation towards protecting, defending, and preserving the viable merit, input, and ultimate consequence of the common man’s opinion and the legitimacy of his vote.

But I wonder how many of the sticker voters also voted the day before, and the other three hundred and sixty three days before that. How many voted profoundly for their family on all of those days; for the love, stability, peace, and nurturing of their spouse, and their children, and even themselves? How many voted for their clients and customers by being forthright and sincere, and offering the best product and service possible to them in a fair exchange of currency? How many voted for their employees by truly rewarding them fairly and appropriately with compensation and praise and encouragement? By being a positive and honorable role model who keeps his word to everyone even when he can get away without doing so? How many voted for the true universal freedom of all…..all people, all races, all religions, and all nations, versus their own egocentric version of freedom and acceptability?  How many voted to remove the plausible excuses and jealousy from their applied perceptions and assumptions relating to every one of their relationships? How many voted to forgive as opposed to crucify? For empathy versus condescension and scapegoating? How many voted for respect and stability and union with their fellow man and all life on this planet versus yielding to the temptable demons of overriding internal and interactive fear, destabilization, and isolation? How many voted against their own doublespeak and doublethink? How many live their vote in their life every single moment of every single day in hopes that that vote, that choice, that statement of  opinion and record, will make a difference in this world and how we all interact with one another?

If you believe voting at the ballot box really does makes a difference, I support you in that action. I’m not sure that I can agree with such an assumption and I worry that a vote of that nature is more about distraction and misdirection; having an excuse to feel as though you have done enough in regards to American society, as well as our foreign policy; that the rest of all of it is out of your control and that you can only do so much to contribute to the changes that the world needs to experience, at least for the next four years. You get the right to brag or complain or feel content for a short while, but most often that leads to a person to less awareness, less contemplation, and less actual implementation of the real difference that they can make in the world.

A ballot may or may not produce significant change, but such a national or centralizing vote is far-removed from direct interaction and the comprehensive ability to truly assess its genuine effectiveness. There is too much misdirection and separation and plausible excuse in such a system to allow for the definitive assessment of the reality, impact, and consequences yielded on a personal level. As a result, the “truth” of that experience gets to be rewritten by our psyche outside of our sensational existence. Levels of separation via a pyramid of centralization create that dangerous and tragic dynamic of a perceived or subjective reality outside of immediate and direct experience.

If you make a genuinely uplifting and stabilizing difference in the lives of the people within your direct contact, you will change the world for the better, and the world will in turn, bless you with the same nurturing and stabilizing energy. That becomes a union of change, direct impact, and direct experience. It is undeniable, unmistakable, and irrefutable. Nothing can stand against such, not even a real or an imaginary ballot box.


Election Day 2016