A little girl, Destabilized

A little girl has been destabilized, perhaps unintentionally and unknowingly, by her parents. She is an inherently high drive creature and with a lack of proper structure in her development, via over-nurturing and/or being neglectfully ignored by her parents, her dominance takes over prematurely and her behavior escalates accordingly in a natural effort to assume control of her pack (her family).

Her efforts resort in her parents (or a parent) reacting in a correction of severe over-dominance, verbal and physical, to tame the “noisy or smartass or troublesome or disrespectful” little girl. The parents don’t really understand that they themselves taught or passively encouraged the little girl to become the “monster” that they now over-dominate out of their own frustration.

The over-dominance instills fear in the little girl’s soul. It is especially bad and tragic because the girl is being “tortured” by her parents for simply behaving the way that seems natural to her and that her parents have previously supported or encouraged, actively or passively. Being over-dominated/punished/tortured with fear for simply just acting the natural way she was encouraged to act in the first place, does not compute within her high drive soul.

Such action naturally creates resentment and hatred in her high drive soul for these over-dominators. She knows that they act unfairly and irrationally. Thus, she loses her faith in the possibility of ever receiving truly just treatment or proper respect from anyone ever, because if her parents could act so irrationally and demonically towards her, then everyone else in the world would have to be the same or even worse. She kills her hope of anything better, ever, in her psyche, as a survival mechanism to tolerate this unjust treatment, that she will have to tolerate from her parents until she is old enough to get away from them.

She never learned proper structure or respectful boundaries, because the world she grew up in did not have either. She grew up in a world of unpredictable fear and over-dominance, so she learned to “just act good” or comply in everything she did, just to avoid the undue “torture” from her parents. Her resentment grew fierce throughout her childhood and during the same time, her psyche doubled-down on pure egocentric focus out of a self-preserving perspective. It became her against the “rest of the world” while she remained living in that “oppressive” environment.

Later in life, the little girl, now grown into an adult, still suffers from the demons that were implanted in her psyche in her childhood. She is insecure and cannot trust anyone deep down. She may act the part well, like she did previously with her parents to avoid their torture, but it is just an act, because she is still riddled with fear. She learned a long time ago from her parents, that no one can be trusted.

Some vestige of hope eternally remains in her soul, so despite her unrelenting fear, she still seeks out companionship, love, and union. Her tolerable adaptation to satiate her fear and her need of love, is to cleverly and intricately, and to a large extent subconsciously, impose a subtle control system over her companion. It is an intricate deception that hides its subconscious intent extremely well from even herself. But, the subtle signs of control are there persistently, if you know what to look for; jealousy, insecurity, paranoia, the mandating of excessive praise and worship from her partner at all times, and her implementation of “feats or tricks” that must be performed on an ongoing basis by her partner to affirm her control over him.

For this woman to shed her fear, she must deal directly with her demon and discard her adaptive and once protective delusional assessment of the world. She must relinquish all forms of imposing control, no matter how subtle and intricate they may be. She must accept the reality in front of her face and the limitations inherent within that reality. She must chose to believe that there is another soul in the world who will love her and treat her appropriately for who she truly is. She must chose to genuinely love herself and forgive those who unfortunately tried to control her with fear.

It is a very, very hard path to walk, but some will make it through.

Cribb          2016

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