Pretext: There was most definitely a specific muse for this scribble when first inked. That muse stills haunts my mind at times and now she has a friend or two, that walk along just as alluringly through those hallowed halls with her. This is one of my favorite original writings.
I know that I am a crazy son of a bitch, and I think you may even be a little crazier than me. Sometimes, I think you dive into the madness and lose all rational perspective…….and maybe this should kill my love for you….maybe it should bother me more than the moment….maybe I should focus on this aspect of your soul…..but I can’t do it for more than a flash point…I can’t do it. I try to rationalize my feelings and my thoughts, but it just doesn’t work that way. It is more like gravity…..or the complexity and improbability of life and existence….or a visceral craving of what my “temple” and soul require, extensively hardwired from toe to cranium. I know you are crazy (like me) and I don’t care. I want you, I need you, I crave you, through all the madness, insanity, insecurity, and silly power struggles for control and dominance. I love you, knowing this madness is a symbiotic inhabitant of your soul, a protective guardian from times past or perhaps just your guardian angel, that has been driven mad from trying to survive the poisoning of the world.
Mirrors are dangerous and threatening and beautiful. The tempest we sometimes rage against one another, may really just be a tempest thrown at our own reflection in each others eyes. Oh…the crux of seeing yourself in complete and utter “is”ness reflected in another’s eyes…..how beautiful and how profoundly unsettling……how do we live with that mirror of madness….maybe sometimes it has to be shattered…maybe that is what is suppose to happen……just to see if someone will grab those shards of glass, through all the drops of blood, and know it should all be put back together again. Maybe, we all suffer from insanity and when you find the right soulmate, it means, deciding that your mates insanity, should be accepted as part of the universal condition, like so much else, and not used as a tool of constant strife and distraction, to keep your own eyes unfocused on those more daunting issues of that same universal condition. We are born, we live, we die, we are born. The sun rises, then it sets, then it rises again. The moon orbits the earth, which orbits the sun, and around and around we go…through the light, into the darkness, and back again into the light.
I cannot break your orbit……..even though the laws of nature dictate that orbit must always be a cycle of light and darkness.
I cannot break your orbit…….though at times, I crash against it with the violence of a hell-storm, trying to convince myself, the darkness of the universe is preferable your radiance.
I cannot break your orbit….and isn’t that the stuff of fairy tales…isn’t that the stuff of dreams….not this shit of being able to walk away or staying together because you shield your eyes from the true awareness of one another.
I cannot break your orbit…..and despite the madness of the world and that which resides in ourselves….I think this inability, may be the most precious force that anyone might ever succumb to.