Love vs Sex 201 (#24 on Tantric Sex)

I’ve written about Tantric Sex numerous times in my blog. I know, most don’t care about that crazy mystical shit. They prefer porn and the utmost avoidance of anything beautiful or tender or righteous or sacred about sex. I have heard women tell me that they wanted to learn about or even that they did believe in Tantric Sex, but most often their words were empty and in the end they just wanted to get fucked hard or jackhammered by their vibrator or pummeled into orgasmic oblivion. If that’s what you really want, who am I to tell you otherwise. If it truly makes you happy, carry on and be content. But that ain’t Tantric Sex and it ain’t union and by approaching sex with an addictive jackhammer mentality, you are just displaying that you are an addict and that you are more centered on getting yourself off with the least vested sensitivity and emotional connection possible. So, if you want to overstimulate your sensations with buttplugs and genital shock collars, go ahead, pound it out…pound out the fact that you really can’t handle union…pound out the fact that your really don’t want to feel another…pound out the fact that you can’t really look another in the eyes during orgasm…pound out your sensitivities and your feelings, and your tenderness, and any hint of love….any hint of vulnerability that you are terrified to expose. It’s all good if you do so or sincerely prefer such, but it’s only mutual isolated masterbation, and nothing more. The restless addictions related to insecurity and distraction are what most choose over love and true union. Sex becomes egocentric and more of a way to not feel as opposed to a way of sharing titillating feeling, ecstasy, and union. Is your lover the focus of your affections or are only you the focus of your affections? And do you want to make them writhe in ecstasy for a prolonged period of blissful time or just finish them off, so that you can get back to enjoying yourself or doing your own thing? It is sad to me that the questions even have to be asked. Two quotes from a new book I just started on Tantric Sex;

“The honoring of women tends to run through the men who are attracted to, and stay on the Tantric path. They are usually more in touch with their feminine side, which makes it easier for women to express themselves more completely. Of course this doesn’t mean that all relationship problems are automatically solved, but it’s an important foundation for a couple who choose the Tantric path together.”

“It wasn’t that I had a sexual ‘problem’, or that I couldn’t reach orgasm, but I felt a deep post-coital emptiness in spite of the love I felt for my partner. The models in our culture for a satisfying sexual relationship have more to do with ideas of stress-release and notching up orgasms than they do with our deepest desires for connection and intimacy.”

(Quotes from Tantric Sex, Cassandra Lorius, 1999)

Cribb          2016

2 thoughts on “Love vs Sex 201 (#24 on Tantric Sex)

  1. I have never tried Tantric sex – as a Recovering Catholic it is difficult for me to try new things with sex. I can’t even masturbate as I think a bolt from heaven will strike me down! But I think if I had a proper long term partner where there was love and understanding in the relationship I would definitely like to try Tantric sex. But the normal sex would have to be good as well. I have had multi-orgasm sex and you are right there is no connection or real intimacy. But an orgasm is an important experience to have especially as a lot of women don’t have them during sex.

    • I love your comment. Truly. The point you raise about multiple orgasmic sex vs Tantra and its minimal “orgasmic” approach, has been my most unsettling glitch of contemplation on the subject. To induce (or aid in the induction of) a state of multiple or persistent or rolling orgasmic bliss in a woman, is damn near nirvanic by itself for both partners in sexual union. It sounds like you agree with that point. It might just be my crazed, rewritten, bastardization of Tantra or Neo-Tantra, but my opinion is that it is more about the intent, the awareness, and the energy exchange (draining, neutral, or giving), than orgasmic avoidance to trap the sexual energy within the body(ies). In other words, I fully believe that the two are not in conflict or antagonism with one another, when the energy exchange is giving and bi-catalytic or bi-fissional, the intent is true union, and the awareness titillatingly slips into wrapping and dancing and flowing and ebbing itself, in and around, and about your partner, and the blissful energy of the universe. That approach removes the addictive demon of distraction and unilateral energy drain. I believe with the right lover, though a rare find indeed, your soul will sing and writhe with the heavens as it should. You (yes specific and intended) aren’t a person intended to masturbate by yourself. You are a creature of union…this is more than obvious to me by your comments. Glad you survived Catholicism and you will continue to vanquish the residual guilt. Sorry about the bloviating, but you got my motor running and you, dear, made my day. Jeff

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