A message I have heard a few times before;
“You can’t speak truth to them, you can’t be real with them, they don’t want that and they can’t handle that. It doesn’t matter what they say or even if they vehemently proclaim they want the truth, they don’t, and if you try to speak it to them, and especially if your words and explanation are unquestionably undeniable, they’ll hate you for it. They’ll hate you and turn you into the enemy for what you have exposed them to.”
It has been uttered to me by the most intelligent people and observationalists I have known. I used to argue against the point, kicking and screaming in my head…surely rational thought, observation, and truth appeal to people by their inherent potential to pierce through delusions or misunderstandings and offer hope and resolution to whatever malady or madness they suffer from. No. Absolutely not. That is not what the overwhelming majority want or desire in the slightest. In fact, most prefer anything but objective truth or even a stoic silent persistent reminder of such.
I have heard about the essential need to placate to the self-destructive and fundamentally counterproductive delusions within the psyches of those I desire to date and the customers who come to me for medical advice and treatment. I have heard and I have seen. These are well known and well defined dynamics in the dating scene and the retail world. It isn’t about speaking truth and practicing the best medicine, because that’s just too damn hard and it only works for a very select group of people. It is about exploiting the delusions of the masses for your benefit and gain and their stagnant irrational pacification. Truth in dating always seemed romantic, noble, and pure in my mind, but it seems that most consider it detestable poison which has no purpose in the affair. It can’t be an exchange of truth and honest desire, it must be a game between between liars or manipulators or those who remain anonymous to one another throughout whatever exchanges might occur. I have been told, but I have always fought against it. I want to be myself. I don’t want to play with the black magic of delusion. I don’t want to be a better liar or a better manipulator or someone who becomes lost in their own delusions. I want to be pierced and illuminated in the undenying radiance of objective awareness, and effort, and progress, and stability, and love. I want my eyes stapled wide open to the grace and glory of what can…what can be achieved…within the realms of truth and reality; uplifting union without deception and manipulation and bastardization; relationships of honor, nurturing, balance, trust, and visceral empathy.
I certainly suffer from my own delusions. I guard against such with all of my might and nothing scares me more than to think that I might lose ground on that front. I think the removal of delusion is the primary key in spiritual enlightenment and a necessity in experiencing the genuine force of love.
Nonetheless, psychology has essentially proven that to reach or to help those suffering from delusion (lovers, friends, family, customers, it matters not which) you must be willing to dive into and operate under their delusions for a time, if not indefinitely. My kryptonite. My Achilles heal. My darkest demon. I have loved those that I might have helped more by tolerating or entertaining their delusions on a grander scale, but I couldn’t comply. As a result, I lost them and lost their love. I think I saved myself in the process, but sometimes I wonder. Was their love, originating from somewhere within their delusional protective processing system, false or was it something real that was trying with desperation to escape? And was my moral imperative of objective truth and reality as pure as it seemed or was it my own highly elaborate delusional system, that I interwove with rationality to subtly shift the reigns of control over to my observations and decrees of logic?
To withdraw or to engage, that is the question. To engage with or without delusion, is the second question. The third question and perhaps the most important, is how to truly spread love, and if it matters whether or not, that that love primarily embraces pure objectivity and/or comforting delusion.
I wonder about it all.