Stability tends to respond calmly and without so much biased interpretation and perceived offense. It listens fearlessly and has a low emotional volatility, but may present an extremely formidable and intimidating presence when attacked or backed into a corner or a trap. Stability removes much cyclical insanity and the associated redundant stagnation of such. Its energy comes more from internal fission and less from external plundering or drain. Stability seeks progressive stability.
I have certainly been an unstable bastard myself, most pronounced in the sexual relationships that I thought I was cultivating, up until about four years ago. I wasn’t trying to be unreasonable, unstable, jealous, or egocentric at that time. In fact, I felt fairly justified in my frustration with the thoughts and actions, real and imaginary, of those whom I felt I cared most deeply about and whom “did not give me enough attention or consideration or love.” I shrouded myself in a cloak of superiority and greater rationale because “I was doing all this thinking and considering and pondering” and I told myself others were not. The times I would completely “bestow” (I am making fun of my own insanity) my “gracious” and emphatic love upon others seemed to me at the time to be the appropriate response I should give to them for “finally getting it” or relenting to my justified opinion. If they refused to do so, I would tend to attack or withdraw. I thought I was loving them more than they were loving me on a perpetual basis, but whenever they would come around to “see the light,” all became blissful and right in my world. If only they could be that way all the time, just “get it” more often, then we wouldn’t have any problems whatsoever and paradise would reign. But, the truth is far different from what my unstable mind packaged as reality. I was insecure and constantly over-dominating in the name of love, destabilizing those I professed to care about the most, weakening them and most importantly subjugating their free choice of independence…the ability to stay or leave my side as they desired.
So, the main issue that confounds stability is insecurity or the inability to truly and devoutly love yourself. If you don’t learn to genuinely appreciate and love yourself, you will never be able to believe that someone else is capable of loving you (this is usually experienced subconsciously by the insecure/unstable person). If you do not think people will love you via freedom of choice, you will turn to tools of control. manipulation, and over-dominating to “make them love you” or “to secure their love.” Such tricks obviously get rewritten by the psyche to be anything but what they truly are. It has to be someone else’s problem when they feel so bad and insecure about themselves. Someone else must be guilty. That someone or even everyone else, must truly, madly, and deeply feel that they are as worthless as they actually feel about themselves. Stability is getting out of your own mind and processing reality over your own fears. It is accepting that another is capable of truly loving the real you for whomever you are. With true love of the self, the need for over-dominance of others and the necessity of persistent distraction via emotional volatility fades away. Self respect accepts the validity of respect from others and all that comes with it. It allows love to be acknowledged and exchanged. The free exchange of respect, of love, without coercion or tomfoolery or bastardization or hidden cost is stability. If someone does not believe in such a thing they will never be able to see it or find it. It is a simple choice.