I cannot understand what pleasures and joys they are that drive people to the overcrowded railways and hotels, into the packed cafés with the suffocating and oppressive music, to the Bars and variety entertainments, to World Exhibitions, to the Corsos. I cannot understand nor share these joys, though they are within my reach, for which thousands of others strive. On the other hand, what happens to me in my rare hours of joy, what for me is bliss and life and ecstasy and exaltation, the world in general seeks at most in imagination; in life it finds absurd. And in fact, if the world is right, if this music of the cafés, these mass enjoyments and these Americanized men who are pleased with so little are right, then I am wrong, I am crazy. I am in truth the Steppenwolf that I often call myself; that beast astray who finds neither home nor joy nor nourishment in a world that is strange and incomprehensible to him.
Hermann Hesse 1927
Sometimes, I would carry one or both of them to their bed. I might bounce or playfully plop them on their mattress or a on a huge mound of stuffed animals, to see and hear them erupt with laughter and giggles and glorious grins and smiles. They would often jump back into my arms or grab onto my hand or try to topple me onto their bed with them. They would eventually get tucked away under a blanket or snuggled up in the “baby” (stuffed animals) mound and tell their stories of a rose and a thorn and a bud. I would rub their feet or tickle their toes and joke with them in funny voices while they told their stories of the day. And after I had been there for some time, it also became normal for me to stroke their hair or gently scratch their heads to help them relax. I would kiss them both goodnight, gently on their foreheads or on their most exposed temple, and as I would leave their room, I would say “I love you” to both of them or “Goodnight little loves, I love you, sweet dreams.” It isn’t just a story. They became my daughters, as much as, if not more than, blood……and sometimes my tears won’t stop when it hits me, over and over, that I may never be allowed to ever see them again.
Tantra’s creation myth pictures the goddess Shakti making love to her consort Shiva. From this ecstatic union rains down a golden nectar which bathes the created world in bliss. Tantric writings describe the Hindu goddess Shakti as achieving seven peaks of ecstasy, each peak higher, stronger, and more powerful than the preceding one, until at the topmost she releases her nectar (female ejaculation). This nectar, amrita, is considered spiritual food for the universe, a pure joy, which radiates into the hearts of mortals.
Cassandra Lorius 1999
Shakti is viewed as a woman or female goddess, but the term is synonymous with the energy of universal creation. Shakti also manifests itself in the more specific and differing forms of other goddesses. Her energy is unfocused and flowing chaotically through the universe, and she needs to form union with Shiva to give herself the focus of consciousness.
Shiva is viewed as a man or a male god, whose purpose is to receive the divine energies of Shakti in the act of making love (upper transcending sexual union). Shiva requires union with Shakti to transform his focus of sensation into physical form.
Tantra believes that significant elements of Shakti and Shiva live in all men and women, and that it is imperative for each of us to acknowledge these inner energies, so that we may form a true union with the opposing or complementary energies in our partner.
I personally believe the reference to female ejaculate or nectar to be especially relevant. I believe all women are capable of “squirting” and I don’t view the pure act as some form of demeaning trick or freak show to dehumanize or despiritualize sexual union. The act has often be rewritten as so many things are, but that is rewriting and the bastardizing of something pure and natural. “Squirting” appears to be a true sign of a higher level of sexual union. It would appear to require the contributions of awareness and the effort of skillful sensitivity by a man coupled with the awakening or opening of vulnerability within the heart and soul of a woman. It may not be the end all be all of everything, but it still might serve as a guiding light or celestial map for our journey, pointing all of us in the right direction for supreme transcending union.
With the development of the Vedic system, based on a group of texts called the Vedas, introduced by Aryan invaders and subsequently favoured by the Hindus, Tantric practitioners were marginalized. Asceticism, or physical renunciation, gradually gained ascendency amongst Indians. The philosophy of learning through suffering, or working through suffering and hardship in this lifetime in order to earn future rewards in the next was regarded by Tantra teachers as a misapprehension of reality. Tantra says you don’t need to suffer to attain enlightenment. Paradise is not in the next world, but here and now, if we can only see it.
Cassandra Lorius 1999
angels and demons,
mad and sane,
light and dark….
everything in between.
when encountering a creature
seeing all of this
within your own soul
in the light of love,
will you slaughter the poor soul
for his sight
will you welcome
his revealing and piercing gaze?
Can you tolerate
the true entirety
who you really are
would such acknowledged
turn your love
In orgasm we have a glimpse of eternity; letting go into something far bigger and more spacious than our orgasmic gratification. It’s this experience of something vaster that keeps us fixated on sex, striving to repeat the experience. Tantra is the practice that allows you to attain that state without immediately losing it again. It allows you to maintain and extend it.
According to self-styled New Age guru, Barry Long, women and men are prevented from making love to our full potential, because we have not learnt how to make love to consciousness. Loving consciously involves Shiva (the man) receiving the divine energies of Shakti (the woman) in the act of love-making. Tantra teaches ways to make lovemaking more aware, and techniques for assimilating the energies of your partner in love-making.
Tantra changes one’s view of relationships. Couples become less dependent, jealous, or neurotic. They tend to be more harmonious, fun, and energy filled. In the way of Tantra, you also discover that the relationship you seek outside is already within you.
Cassandra Lorius 1999
I’ve written about Tantric Sex numerous times in my blog. I know, most don’t care about that crazy mystical shit. They prefer porn and the utmost avoidance of anything beautiful or tender or righteous or sacred about sex. I have heard women tell me that they wanted to learn about or even that they did believe in Tantric Sex, but most often their words were empty and in the end they just wanted to get fucked hard or jackhammered by their vibrator or pummeled into orgasmic oblivion. If that’s what you really want, who am I to tell you otherwise. If it truly makes you happy, carry on and be content. But that ain’t Tantric Sex and it ain’t union and by approaching sex with an addictive jackhammer mentality, you are just displaying that you are an addict and that you are more centered on getting yourself off with the least vested sensitivity and emotional connection possible. So, if you want to overstimulate your sensations with buttplugs and genital shock collars, go ahead, pound it out…pound out the fact that you really can’t handle union…pound out the fact that your really don’t want to feel another…pound out the fact that you can’t really look another in the eyes during orgasm…pound out your sensitivities and your feelings, and your tenderness, and any hint of love….any hint of vulnerability that you are terrified to expose. It’s all good if you do so or sincerely prefer such, but it’s only mutual isolated masterbation, and nothing more. The restless addictions related to insecurity and distraction are what most choose over love and true union. Sex becomes egocentric and more of a way to not feel as opposed to a way of sharing titillating feeling, ecstasy, and union. Is your lover the focus of your affections or are only you the focus of your affections? And do you want to make them writhe in ecstasy for a prolonged period of blissful time or just finish them off, so that you can get back to enjoying yourself or doing your own thing? It is sad to me that the questions even have to be asked. Two quotes from a new book I just started on Tantric Sex;
“The honoring of women tends to run through the men who are attracted to, and stay on the Tantric path. They are usually more in touch with their feminine side, which makes it easier for women to express themselves more completely. Of course this doesn’t mean that all relationship problems are automatically solved, but it’s an important foundation for a couple who choose the Tantric path together.”
“It wasn’t that I had a sexual ‘problem’, or that I couldn’t reach orgasm, but I felt a deep post-coital emptiness in spite of the love I felt for my partner. The models in our culture for a satisfying sexual relationship have more to do with ideas of stress-release and notching up orgasms than they do with our deepest desires for connection and intimacy.”
(Quotes from Tantric Sex, Cassandra Lorius, 1999)