Perceptions of Ourselves and of Others

There are essentially three different categories of clients that you get as a veterinarian. These same categories also apply to how people relate to their pets, their friends, their children, and their lovers. It is very important to understand how the three categories of people interact with you and just as important for you to understand which category you belong to when interacting with others.

The first category believes that you are a god incapable of ever doing the wrong thing or making a mistake or being inept in any degree whatsoever. If you committed an act of gross malpractice or overt negligence or temporary asinine insanity, even under their direct crystalclear observation, they would still deny that you ever did anything remotely close to the sort. This category of clients rewrites objective reality to make you into a unquestionable and sacrificial beacon of light or the always fair and just performer of medical miracles or a veterinarian of superhuman powers that has no susceptibility to kryptonite or any other power within the universe.

The second category is of those who are persistently skeptical, excessively judgemental, passively-aggressively condescending, and prone to confrontation in damn near every approach, exchange, and/or interaction that they have with you. One might rationally wonder why someone of this ilk and apparent mindset towards you would continue to choose to remain a steadfast participant in such a dynamic. Despite the answer to that telltale answer, it is important that you understand that this category of client does exist and it exists in one form or another as a large, if not the largest category percentage of the whole client base. This type of client will always find something wrong with your approach or your recommendations or your actual actions. Such might not be consistent with Dr. Google’s or their next door neighbor’s opinion on veterinary medicine or they might deem your recommendations simply way too expensive and unnecessary or sometimes they may just outright criticise, demean, and defame your current or past performed medicine and/or surgery. There tends to be little to nothing that you may do in actual skill, expertise, communication or intent to temper, alter or rectify their overcritical and incredulous mindset and interactive behavior. The closest that you may come to mitigating this category of client is through the offering of a undeserved discount/refund or by subjugating yourself into an inappropriate submissive posture while in their presence. Even these mitigations only satiate this category for the briefest period of time and after such an attempt, each future exchange with them with involve a progressive escalation in their bullying behavior.

The first and second categories of clients are essentially the same from a psychoanalytic perspective. Most might argue that the two are diametrically opposed and that the first is empathic, caring, and full of love, while the second is mean, ugly, bullying, and unappreciative. There is a partial truth to this view, but the greater truth, the absolute of the displayed behavior and interaction in both cases, is that those of both category one and category two suffer from significant egocentric delusion. They both live in their own head and they interact with a pseudo-world of pseudo-experience and pseudo-truth. You might call it their own “matrix” of existence. And though the individual techniques of each category vary somewhat, both are founded on them “controlling reality” by “rewriting” your true essence. In actual effect, they are negating you. They don’t see you, they don’t hear you, they don’t even know who and what you truly are…..and all of that means they really don’t want to know or that perhaps, they are too frightened or fearful of reality to want to even take the chance of finding out what your true essence might be. I do not suggest that most of these people are consciously aware of their behavior and their associated “rewritten” projections of justification which validate their psyches approach towards others. I do believe that in the majority of these cases their psyche seeks such ongoing validation (actually manufactured) to comply (maintain the illusion) with an inherent survival mechanism it adopted willingly or unwillingly at a much earlier stage of development. In other words, to survive or adapt to whatever circumstances they perceived in early childhood, the majority of people withdraw their “reality” from actual reality and repackage it as a world full of people who they either must approach through persistent mistrust, doubt, criticism, and condemnation or endless forgiveness, excessive praise, submissive enablement, and unhealthy sacrifice.

Both approaches take many subforms and some of those subforms can be extremely subtle. They are not always obvious and they do not always rise to the surface of behavioral interaction. But regardless of the intensity of the outward expression, either approach establishes an imbalance and pathology in any relationship it engages in. This fact should never be overlooked or undervalued. A relationship that a person has with a false/rewritten you, whether built up or torn down, is still never a true relationship with you. At a minimum, you must identify those people you interact with that behave in either fashion and not allow their delusion to impact negatively upon your perception and understanding of yourself and the rest of reality. Removing the delusions or at least incapacitating their distractive impact, allows one to focus more on accurate self-evaluation and thus objective self-existence. This is of paramount importance in attaining peace and learning to truly love yourself, and both of these acts are essential for you to be able to form healthy synergistic relationships of nurturing union and transcendence with others.

(To be continued…)

Cribb          2015

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