Love vs Sex 163

Cribb Pretext – 2015: It’s all the same. All of it. Elaborate levels and extremes of deception to project upon others so we may conveniently blind ourselves to our own inadequacies and incessant need to control…perhaps the thing I find ultimately most disappointing and destructive and squandering about humanity. People claim they want freedom for all, They don’t. They want freedom for themselves and subjugation of all others in one feelgood way or another. People say they want peace, they don’t. They want control and they seek every excuse in the book justify their “higher cause” against the momentary scapegoat. People say they want love, they don’t. They want control and they seek every excuse in the book to justify their “games” within their relationships. And as despicable as is the despotic tyrant is in his execution of contention, control, and distraction, he pales in comparison to those of supposed Light who dishearteningly and hypocritically, play the same damn game with superior self-deception and refinement. I most certainly have played that refined game myself. It was the darkest demon that I ever slew.

Seeking a weak partner in perception or reality, regardless of fasle proclamation, allows you to control…to build them up just so you can tear them down again, over and over at your discretion. It allows you to write the story and perpetuate the cycle of emotional distraction indefinitely. A stronger partner removes the scapegoat and eliminates the excuses which justify the need for the cycle of your control.

How intolerable, to let that go. How intolerable, to truly share a story with another, instead of just writing the damn thing by yourself. How intolerable to end your contention for all, including your lover. Then what would you do all day……………….make love?

I thought how contention makes us human. How every form of it is practiced religiously, from gentlemanly debate to rape and pillage, from dirty political attacks to assassinations. Our nighttime street fights outside of bars, our slapping arguments in plush bedrooms, our murderous mutterings in the divorce courts. We had parents who beat their children, schoolyard bullies, career-climbing killers in ties and suits, drivers cutting one another off, people pushing one another through the subway doors, nations making war, dropping bombs, swarming onto beaches, the daily military coups, the endless disappearances, the dispossessed dying the their tent camps, the ethnic cleansing crusade, drug wars, terrorist murders, and all violence in every form countenanced somewhere by some religion or other…and for its entertainment politicidal, genocidal, suicidal humanity attending its beloved kick-boxing matches, and cock fights, or losing its paychecks on the blackjack felt and then going back to work undercutting the competition, scamming, ponzi-ing, poisoning…and the impassioned lovers of their times contending in their own little universe of sex, one turgidly wanting it, the other wincingly refusing.

Andrew’s Brain

E.L. Doctorow          2014

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