Warming up to lovemaking is essential so that our energies can awaken and slowly attune to each other. It gives time for a natural attraction to arise, and this makes all the difference. It is good for both men and women, but especially women. Since women represent the negative polarity (the vagina in sexual intercourse and penetration), they need and appreciate time prior to penetration to be fully available for love. And it must be a loving and gentle play, not a serious business with goals in mind as if following a mechanical manual.
In a fresh approach to love making, the most significant thing about foreplay is that it should not produce too much excitement. Don’t make your partner too excited, even though it may be tempting at times. This makes it difficult to move into a relaxing sexual experience. When desire or lust is provoked through sexual stimulation, the energy moves toward release. As a result, staying conscious in and aware of the present moment will be difficult. In the Tantric approach to foreplay, it is the attitude of the mind that is most important. How you do it, not what you do, is the point. If you wish to make your partner hot and horny this requires a particular attitude and approach, a certain intention. How and where you touch will make all the difference. However, a man who really takes his time to gently awaken the body of a woman through a slow, sensual approach will feel the inviting environment once penetration occurs.
The Heart of Tantric Sex
Diana Richardson 2003