When considering touch, don’t limit yourself to the idea of hands only (and explore outside of the genitals too. I know at least one man, yes myself, who likes sensual foreplay himself and I can attest that most of the women that I have been with do not put a lot of effort into non-genital foreplay with men. They seem to get stuck on going right at the genitals or sitting back and letting the man perfect his skills at foreplay in sensually pleasing them. I also accept that most men are probably just as negligent in providing sensual foreplay, if not more so, than the ladies. The rapid, speeding up of sex to attack the genitals of your partner is often more of an egocentric act than it is not, and it frequently betrays the possible sensual, unifying, and titillating transcending stimulation that is possible in the worshipping of another’s body, and thus their essence. The general “advertised” and “pornified” and “bragged about” sex that I believe most have been exposed to encourages only the genital sex of “bunker-busting” as quick, and perhaps, as often as possible. This approach is not about union with another. It is about dominating another and in my opinion, “simply pulling their strings.” Personally, I like both, but I believe that union and sensual touch is truly what it is all about. Cribb interjection 2015). Be aware of the bodies themselves touching each other, where they touch, how they touch, and the silky slippery feelings between legs, arms, lips, bellies, chests. While embracing and kissing, be alert initially not to push your bodies hard up against each other in too much enthusiasm! This has the unfortunate affect of compressing the physical body and with it the energy field surrounding the body, which limits or eradicates all sensual feelings. There will be a lack of porousness, and consciousness will not be able to filter through the body. They will be perceived as solid unyielding objects which limits receptivity.
You have most likely felt this difference when you had a hug with someone. One person may give you a hug or handshake, squeezing you a little too hard, or even slapping you on the back taking your breath away, without any real exchange of energy or warmth. Another person may surprise you by simply melting in your arms. Suddenly you feel vaporous and light, expanded through the contact. A touching sweetness arises out of the simplicity.
The Heart of Tantric Sex
Diana Richardson 2003