Love vs Sex 146

I came quite close to doing it a couple of times, though. One time in particular, I remember. Something went wrong, though—I don’t even remember what any more. The thing is, most of the time when you’re coming pretty close to doing it with a girl—a girl that isn’t a prostitute or anything, I mean—she keeps telling you to stop. The trouble with me is, I stop. Most guys don’t. I can’t help it. You never know whether they really want you to stop, or whether they’re just scared as hell, or whether they’re just telling you to stop so that if you do go through with it, the blame’ll be on you, not them. Anyway, I keep stopping. The trouble is, I get to feeling sorry for them. I mean most girls are so dumb and all. After you neck them for a while, you can really watch them losing their brains. You take a girl when she gets really passionate, she just hasn’t any brains. I don’t know. They tell me to stop, so I stop. I always wish I hadn’t, after I take them home, but I keep doing it anyway.

The Catcher in the Rye

J.D. Salinger          1945


Regretfully, I feel that I must clarify, for some readers, the author’s use of “dumb” and “losing their brains” and “she hasn’t any brains.” It is obvious to me that these are not references of female inferiority or mental compromise, but otherwise describing the overwhelming passionate and empathetic nature of women, including dare I say, their natural sexual drive and desire.

Cribb Comment          2015

Love vs Sex 144 (#14 on Tantric Sex)

Love vs Sex is one of the running genres which intertwine to form the backbone of my blog. It explores all realms of “love” and “sex”. LvsS 144 also involves a running subcategory; Tantric Sex. Just try it…..why not…..just once?

supernerdboywarriorpoetworld

Generations of women have failed to experience their divine orgasmic potential, the female delight of sensuality and love through sex. The Garden of Love, the secret gateway to sexual ecstasy for women and men, lies abandoned, untouched, overgrown with straying weeds. All the emotional memories of a woman’s painful sexual experiences such as rape, abortion, aggression, and abuse (I will add insecurity and repression from whatever origins – Cribb interjection) leave their psychological imprint in the deepest part of the vagina. This causes constriction in the vaginal tissues, making the walls tough and unyielding. In this way, there is a ongoing protective defense set up in the tissues, and the vagina contracts instinctively during intercourse, inhibiting deeper penetration. This means that the powerful positive penis head is unable to correspond smoothly and directly with its negative counterpart in the very depths of the vagina, thus affecting the energy flow.

To…

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Warrior Poet Mental Yoga 71

The Victorians are famous for their emphasis on “character,” and many of them, if plopped down in our midst, would seem bizarrely earnest and conscientious, (even) if less so than Darwin.

This is no place for a Darwinian treatise on moral history, but one possible factor is obvious: most people in Victorian England live in the rough equivalent of a small town (decentralized in every respect – Cribb interjection 2015). To be sure, urbanization was well under way, and thus the era of anonymity was nearing. But, compared to today, neighborhoods, even urban ones, were stable.

There are at least two reasons integrity and honesty make particular sense in a small and steady social setting. One is that (as everyone who has lived in a small town knows) there’s no escaping your past. A second reason why being nice is so fruitful in a place like Shrewsbury is that the people you’re nice to will be around for a long time.

Actually, civility does cost something: a little bit of time and psychic energy. And these days it doesn’t buy too much—at least, not unless it is laser guided. Many, if not most, of the people we encounter each day don’t know who we are and will never find out. Even our acquaintances may be fleeting. People move often, change jobs often. So a reputation of integrity matters less now, and sacrifices of all kinds—even for colleagues and neighbors—are less likely to be repaid far in the future. These days an upper-middle-class man who by example teaches his son to be slick and superficially sincere, to tell minor lies in profusion, to work harder on promise than delivery, may well be equipping him for success (…and oh how this shit kills me. This is so true and so pervasive in our current society and everyone just pretends like it is normal and appropriate. The minimal lies always morph into greater bastardizations of truth. Less and less effort is applied towards developing a true skill/great product, communicating with clear and definitive precision, and honing objective analysis. More effort is applied towards becoming the better liar or manipulator or distorter of truth, so something can be sold…so someone can be taken advantage of while disavowing or ignoring all objective criteria (the natural order). Exuberant “marketing” of a minimal quality product or a minimal effort and aptitude service has become the rule of the land towards customers, employees, neighbors, piers of any sort, and of course, it always eventually trickles down to your own family, and your own self-awareness. Well, as long as everyone else is doing it… – Cribb interjection 2015).

The Moral Animal

Robert Wright          1994

Love vs Sex 144 (#14 on Tantric Sex)

Generations of women have failed to experience their divine orgasmic potential, the female delight of sensuality and love through sex. The Garden of Love, the secret gateway to sexual ecstasy for women and men, lies abandoned, untouched, overgrown with straying weeds. All the emotional memories of a woman’s painful sexual experiences such as rape, abortion, aggression, and abuse (I will add insecurity and repression from whatever origins – Cribb interjection) leave their psychological imprint in the deepest part of the vagina. This causes constriction in the vaginal tissues, making the walls tough and unyielding. In this way, there is a ongoing protective defense set up in the tissues, and the vagina contracts instinctively during intercourse, inhibiting deeper penetration. This means that the powerful positive penis head is unable to correspond smoothly and directly with its negative counterpart in the very depths of the vagina, thus affecting the energy flow.

To strengthen the original nature of this polarity effect in our organs of love, they need to be consciously healed and purified of toxic tensions. this is done through deep, sustained penetration. For the woman, the focal area for healing is located deep at the top of the vagina. It includes the sides of the upper vaginal canal and up and around the cervix, which protrudes into this part of the vagina. this is her Garden of Love, the place where she will first know true ecstasy in sex. When a woman is touched this deeply and consciously by the penis, she may experience real love in her body through sex for the first time. A friend experienced it as a pearl rolling all the way up from the penis into her heart. Here where she is pure woman, her heart opens beautifully and naturally, but it so rarely happens. Instead, penetration is limited to short thrusts focused on the first few centimeters of the vagina where several strong rings of muscle are found encircling the entrance. Friction-like rapid movements back and forth at the entrance have the effect of creating intense pleasure, which leads to excitement and thereby an interest in orgasm. Through this, women’s interest has been drawn away from the awareness of this jewel in her upper vagina. Seldom has she had the opportunity to feel it with true tenderness, and thus the source of her true femininity lies untapped.

Women (and men’s) dependence on the clitoris for female orgasm has not helped matters as for as vaginal consciousness is concerned. Countless women do not know the satisfaction of a full vaginal orgasm, and so for many of us the clitoris becomes the prime focus while making love. By making aggressive thrusting pelvic movements aimed at stimulating the clitoris, she is able to create the necessary excitement for orgasm. Men too have become accustomed to giving women sexual satisfaction through the clitoris. The outcome of a lot of sexual excitement has been a relative desensitizing of the vagina. In the upper part she is protective, and in the lower part she is tense, tough, and expectant.

The Heart of Tantric Sex

Diana Richardson          2003


The women who are the most controlling or guarded or limited in their uncompromising  rigid approach to sex, as in “what must be done” or “how it must be done” or “what cannot be done” by their male partner, are certainly compensating for a profound indwelling fear (of exposed vulnerability and losing control) which is definitely toxic to orgasmic potential and lethally poisonous to a true sexual union (upward transcendence). These women tend to blame their inability of orgasm not on their own inhibitions and fears, but rather on their male partners “insensitivity”, “inconsiderate self-centered desire”, or “lack of skill and technique”. I consider this approach a defective defense mechanism employed by such a woman to protect herself from falling vulnerable to the hook of orgasmic grace. They seem to be willing to yield to such potential only if they are “calling all of the shots” or if they are masturbating. In both cases, they obviously remain in complete control, yielding no vulnerability to another. The psychosomatic consequences of such a psychological state should be obvious and the direct correlation of this dynamic to the above passage should also be apparent.

Even in the women who are completely free from sexual inhibition/ repression and are thus highly orgasmic, a large percentage of their number will still employee “guarded” behavior of various sorts to prevent a truly profound fusion of penultimate sensual and spiritual bliss. Such behaviors might include something as simple as refusing to kiss or perhaps, refusing to look directly into one anothers eyes during synchronous orgasm. Inability to slow down and shed pure physical friction/ nervous energy, mandatory incorporation of porn or some other synthetic intervention, and any type of passive-aggressive manipulation involved in the act itself, are all further examples of “tricks” deployed to maximize physical pleasure/frictional orgasm and minimize or negate spiritual union (upward transcendence).

I will note for the perspective of the reader that despite the interactions I have described above, I still acknowledge that men are just as, if not more so, sexually inhibited and/or repressed as women. Also, I do sincerely believe that many men are not adequately providing their female counterparts with the physical and spiritual affection which is necessary for healthy sexual union.

Cribb          2015

Suicide 1 – Marilyn Monroe

A well-known borderline¹ was Marilyn Monroe (born Norma Jeane Mortenson). Despite her glamorous outward appearance, a volcano simmered within her. Elton John wrote his famous song “Candle in the Wind” to describe her, which succinctly summarizes how impulsively changeable she was. Norma was born in 1926, and her parents divorced in 1928. She always claimed she didn’t know who her real father was. Norma’s mother, Gladys, because of her mental health, gave her child away for fostering to the Bolenders, where she lived until she was seven. Norma believed the Bolenders were her real parents until she was told the truth at this age. Gladys came back to have her daughter live with her, but when Norma was nine, Gladys was taken to a psychiatric hospital. Gladys’s friend Grace became the young girl’s guardian. Grace married a man named Ervin Goddard when Norma was still just nine years old, so the young Norma was sent to the Los Angeles Orphan Home and then to a series of foster homes. Two years later she went back to live with Grace but was sexually molested by Goddard.

Marilyn was married three times; first to neighbor James Dougherty in 1942 when she was sixteen. He agreed to marry her to avoid her being returned to an orphanage. The marriage lasted only three years. She remarried in 1954, to baseball player Joe DiMaggio, but this marriage lasted less than a year. Very soon after, in 1956, she married playwright Arthur Miller, who described her as follows: “She was whirling light to me then, all paradox and enticing mystery, street-tough one moment, then lifted by a lyrical and poetic sensitivity that few retain past adolescence.” Throughout her life she hated being alone and was terrified of being abandoned. In adulthood she was in and out of psychiatric clinics and attempted suicide at least three times. Tragically, she finally succeeded in killing herself (over-dosing on barbiturates) on August 5, 1962.

The Science of Evil

Baron-Cohen          2011


¹Borderlines aka people suffering from borderline personality disorder are theorized by some to be deficient in their awareness (perceptions of self presentation to others and valid interpretation of the behavior of others towards oneself) due to an overriding lack of empathy. Such a force, or lack thereof, produces an isolated and profound self-centeredness in an individual that, most often, continually interferes and ultimately, prevents any formation of a healthy or “normal” relationship with another.

Borderlines suffer primarily from a daunting fear of abandonment. This produces seemingly schizophrenic behavior (which in actually is just confused and inconsistent behavior), emotionally volatility and frequent depression, feelings of isolation and loneliness, hatred of oneself and others, and self-harm or even self-destruction.

This disorder is highly associated with early childhood abuse or neglect, and it appears that they are trapped in a perpetually destabilized state of agonizing, ambivalent desire and fear. These individuals constantly crave to be needed, wanted, and loved…..to never be alone, but at the same time, their fear makes it impossible to believe they are worthy of such true attention and desire. They undulate from feeling “smothered” by the “unwarranted or controlling,” intimate and caring motives of another versus feeling totally abandoned or betrayed by someone showing the slightest bit of independence.

Cribb Comment          2015

Love vs Sex 143

In 1882, on Brücke’s (one of Freud’s university professors) advice, Freud reluctantly left the laboratory to take a lowly post at the Vienna General Hospital. The reason was romantic: in April, he had met Martha Bernays, a slender, attractive young woman from northern Germany visiting one of his sisters, and fallen passionately in love. He was soon secretly engaged to her, but too poor to establish the respectable bourgeois household that he and his fiancée thought essential. It was not until September 1886, some five months after opening his practice in Vienna, with the aid of wedding gifts and loans from affluent friends, that the couple could marry. Within nine years, they had six children, the last of whom, Anna grew up to be her father’s confidante, secretary, nurse, disciple, and representative, and an eminent psychoanalyst in her own right.

Sigmund Freud: A Brief Life

Peter Gay          1989