Generations of women have failed to experience their divine orgasmic potential, the female delight of sensuality and love through sex. The Garden of Love, the secret gateway to sexual ecstasy for women and men, lies abandoned, untouched, overgrown with straying weeds. All the emotional memories of a woman’s painful sexual experiences such as rape, abortion, aggression, and abuse (I will add insecurity and repression from whatever origins – Cribb interjection) leave their psychological imprint in the deepest part of the vagina. This causes constriction in the vaginal tissues, making the walls tough and unyielding. In this way, there is a ongoing protective defense set up in the tissues, and the vagina contracts instinctively during intercourse, inhibiting deeper penetration. This means that the powerful positive penis head is unable to correspond smoothly and directly with its negative counterpart in the very depths of the vagina, thus affecting the energy flow.
To strengthen the original nature of this polarity effect in our organs of love, they need to be consciously healed and purified of toxic tensions. this is done through deep, sustained penetration. For the woman, the focal area for healing is located deep at the top of the vagina. It includes the sides of the upper vaginal canal and up and around the cervix, which protrudes into this part of the vagina. this is her Garden of Love, the place where she will first know true ecstasy in sex. When a woman is touched this deeply and consciously by the penis, she may experience real love in her body through sex for the first time. A friend experienced it as a pearl rolling all the way up from the penis into her heart. Here where she is pure woman, her heart opens beautifully and naturally, but it so rarely happens. Instead, penetration is limited to short thrusts focused on the first few centimeters of the vagina where several strong rings of muscle are found encircling the entrance. Friction-like rapid movements back and forth at the entrance have the effect of creating intense pleasure, which leads to excitement and thereby an interest in orgasm. Through this, women’s interest has been drawn away from the awareness of this jewel in her upper vagina. Seldom has she had the opportunity to feel it with true tenderness, and thus the source of her true femininity lies untapped.
Women (and men’s) dependence on the clitoris for female orgasm has not helped matters as for as vaginal consciousness is concerned. Countless women do not know the satisfaction of a full vaginal orgasm, and so for many of us the clitoris becomes the prime focus while making love. By making aggressive thrusting pelvic movements aimed at stimulating the clitoris, she is able to create the necessary excitement for orgasm. Men too have become accustomed to giving women sexual satisfaction through the clitoris. The outcome of a lot of sexual excitement has been a relative desensitizing of the vagina. In the upper part she is protective, and in the lower part she is tense, tough, and expectant.
The Heart of Tantric Sex
Diana Richardson 2003
The women who are the most controlling or guarded or limited in their uncompromising rigid approach to sex, as in “what must be done” or “how it must be done” or “what cannot be done” by their male partner, are certainly compensating for a profound indwelling fear (of exposed vulnerability and losing control) which is definitely toxic to orgasmic potential and lethally poisonous to a true sexual union (upward transcendence). These women tend to blame their inability of orgasm not on their own inhibitions and fears, but rather on their male partners “insensitivity”, “inconsiderate self-centered desire”, or “lack of skill and technique”. I consider this approach a defective defense mechanism employed by such a woman to protect herself from falling vulnerable to the hook of orgasmic grace. They seem to be willing to yield to such potential only if they are “calling all of the shots” or if they are masturbating. In both cases, they obviously remain in complete control, yielding no vulnerability to another. The psychosomatic consequences of such a psychological state should be obvious and the direct correlation of this dynamic to the above passage should also be apparent.
Even in the women who are completely free from sexual inhibition/ repression and are thus highly orgasmic, a large percentage of their number will still employee “guarded” behavior of various sorts to prevent a truly profound fusion of penultimate sensual and spiritual bliss. Such behaviors might include something as simple as refusing to kiss or perhaps, refusing to look directly into one anothers eyes during synchronous orgasm. Inability to slow down and shed pure physical friction/ nervous energy, mandatory incorporation of porn or some other synthetic intervention, and any type of passive-aggressive manipulation involved in the act itself, are all further examples of “tricks” deployed to maximize physical pleasure/frictional orgasm and minimize or negate spiritual union (upward transcendence).
I will note for the perspective of the reader that despite the interactions I have described above, I still acknowledge that men are just as, if not more so, sexually inhibited and/or repressed as women. Also, I do sincerely believe that many men are not adequately providing their female counterparts with the physical and spiritual affection which is necessary for healthy sexual union.