The Accused and the Unwitting but oh so Hyper-focused Accuser

If you work so hard to fabricate your existence or even distract your awareness from your true self, so hard to run from whatever is truly inside, whether it be from the oblivion of obsession of whatever sort (chronic illness, children, vocation, depression, drugs, exercise, etc), the compulsive lies of charade and mask and costume (pretending to be who you are not), or the separation and distancing of yourself from others via perpetual alienation and non-forgiveness and/or over-dominance (through the righteous card or the scapegoat card or just extreme introversion), you are clearly and definitively indicting the guilty party who is the ultimate root of your anxiety, madness, and suffering: yourself.

You, all by your lonesome, are presenting the irrefutable evidence. You are pointing the finger at the accused. No one else should even enter your equation of possible (I would say more accurately, projected) blame or responsibility. The root is what must be dealt with. Anything else is avoidance and an excuse to thrash about ineffectively and perhaps become infectiously destructive and destabilizing.

Excuses do abound for anything you want to feel, preach, proclaim, or justify, but the excuses lose relevance when your focus is not hyper-focused insidiously and blindingly and pathologically upon your own egocentric fear.

Once the self chosen (no matter even if at one time it was a survival mechanism) hyper-focus on egocentric fear is acknowledged fully and completely as the willing choice it is, it can be overcome and balanced forevermore by allowing that focus to disperse diffusely and eccentrically.

If a person refuses or is unable to acknowledge this self-chosen egocentric fear present within the core of their soul, they will never ever attain balance and peace. They may fake such states and fake them well to themselves and to others, but this pseudo-behavior will only become part of an infinite cycle riddled with underlying anxiety and instability. Such a faking person will continue to cycle and crash perpetually. They will continue to ignore the root of the problem and continue to always seek out other excuses to justify their plight.

 

Cribb          2014

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