The more we relax, the more we become involved in the present moment, and from here the sexual experience can emerge spontaneously. The intensity of turning the awareness inward onto the delicacy of the genitals during sexual union encourages consciousness to awaken in the body.
The body then becomes a temple and sex a god-given meditation.
This approach essentially involves a shift from focus originating from the mind to the inherent focus of your body. Because senses and sensuality are greatly enhanced through awareness, and because love is made in the physical body, we must learn to expand our sensory awareness, its feelings and perceptions. What is happening in our very own bodies? And where? Remember it is a matter of pulling your attention from the periphery to the core, from the outside focus of the mind to to an inside focus of the body. What am I feeling and where am I feeling it? How does it actually feel? Exactly where do I feel the awakening of life in my body?
We have to continually step back to our inside space, leaving the outside space outside. It is as if we literally have to step inside our bodies, create the inside space and keep expanding it. The outside space is usually much bigger in people than the inside space, so we have to “force” the boundaries of the inside space open, to expand.
At the outset of lovemaking, when each person gives the time and attention to his or her body first, by expanding their inside space, it is as if the air between the bodies that normally separates them actually comes alive, like a magnetic field.
You become aware of the life in your own body which radiates outward to communicate with the body and presence of your lover through the space between you.
Establishing and harnessing inner awareness (“stepping inside our bodies”, “focus of the body”, “attention to the core”) is a far more delicate phenomenon than the thinking process. It is difficult to “be” in the body. One contributing factor is that at the outset of making love, we are much too fast in bringing our bodies into physical contact. We compress what could otherwise be a prolonged and wonderful exchange into a few seconds flat, trying to create something enjoyable for the other.
This has the effect of pulling each person out of awareness, off center, and away from home. Rather than feeling ourselves by dropping inward and absorbing the other, being sweet and simple, we put more effort in doing something to them, a rub, a touch, a caress. We have become “doings” and forgotten how to be human beings.
The Heart of Tantric Sex
Diana Richardson 2003