The Veterinarian – Down to the Bone

The Setting: Exam room one at some point in time on almost any given day.

Me: “Hi. How is Sam doing? Any problems at home?”                

Mom: “No, not really. He’s good…just doing some biting, teething stuff…”

Young Son: “Yeah. He bit dad down to the bone.” 

15 week old puppy: Hiding under the client chair, he resists coming out and as the technician reaches down to pick up the puppy, his ears go up and back while his tail noticeably drops and his posture shifts to a suggest anxiety and instability.

Technician (Secret Behavioralist): Pauses for the briefest of moments in his movement, letting me know he sees and registers exactly what I see, before proceeding to gather the puppy, pick him up, and put him on the table. His hands are expertly positioned on the puppies neck and throat to indicate to the puppy through canine behavior that he is being appropriately dominated, and thus, he should refrain from misbehaving (challenging us through biting or wiggling or yelping….very much like a child throwing a temper tantrum).

Me: I start my exam on the puppy, who is behaving pretty good, and look at mom. “Is he challenging you in other ways at home…like jumping up on you or growling when you get near his food or toys?”

Mom: “Not really. He jumps up on us a good bit, but I think he’s just being a puppy….he might growl a little, but I don’t think it’s serious or anything to worry about.” She has a blissful can’t- be-disturbed with any care in the universe smile stretching across her face and her body posture is laid back and relaxed in a matter-of-fact way as she sits on the exam room chair-bench, arm and elbow behind her head, listening and responding. 

Technician (Secret Behavioralist): Slightly increases the flexion of his forehead skin creases, nods his head ever so slightly down and to the right, and twists his lip mass slightly to the left, all as a sparkle begins to glean in his eyes and the corners of his lips lift in inner humor and bedazzlement. 

Me: Short glance to the technician followed by a brief, but pronounced expiration. 

Telepathy: &$@%#~*#=$¥*!…all humorous….sad…astounding….disappointing….and ultimately, tragic…a’round and round we go. 

Me: Redirects a more serious, but still friendly and playful glance back at mom. “Well, Sam is challenging you a lot and that could become a big problem. His body language….doggie language, if you will, is displaying signs of fear and some instability which could easily get worse. We see this happen a lot. I know we have talked about this before, but I am going to try and give you a way to understand which of his behaviors are acceptable and which are bad and potentially very bad. Anytime he does something to you or anyone else, I want you to consider that it is your son or even a grown man like myself doing the same thing to you or the other person.  In other words, if he jumps up on you, consider that I just ran over there and jumped up on you……and if he bites you, consider that you son is biting you with the same intensity….and if he growls at you, even a little, consider that me threatening you…just a little. Okay? I know it sounds silly, but I promise you this is very important.”

Mom: Smiling, smiling, smiling…happy, happy, happy. Relaxed as all get out. No worry lines. “Okay.”

My Mind: *&$%$*#@*&%@!

Telepathy: #!*^%$# &*!!@%*….he’s gonna eat them…maybe it’s better that way…but the kid seems pretty cool…hope he doesn’t get hurt.

Me: As I finish my exam, “Is he humping anything at home? Do you ever see him do that?”

Mom:  “Oh yeah…everything. He does that all the time to whatever is around…”

Young Son: “What???? What is humping?”

Mom: “Nothing…nothing….don’t worry about it…Shhh.”

Technician (Secret Behavioralist): Snicker…baby laugh…snort.

Me: Looking directly at mom. “Humping is a sign of dominance in a puppy…it is not sexual at this age….it has nothing to do with it…he is trying to dominate everything he is humping. He is declaring his ownership of anything he humps. You need to be aware of that…it ties in with what we already talked about.”

Mom: “Okay.” Smile, smile, smile.

Me: “Alright, we are done here today and we’ll see you back one more time in three weeks for your final puppy boosters. The receptionist will check you out and set you up for the next appointment. Thank you. We appreciate it.

Technician (Secret Behavioralist): With an enormous grin worthy of a clown, he looks friendly and playfully at the child and says “You got the line of the day…’down to the bone!’….no doubt about it….’down to the bone'”

Telepathy: No doubt…no doubt.

 

Cribb          2014

 

 

Warrior Poet Mental Yoga 30

Understanding the Efforts of Covert Destabilization in Two Seemingly Unrelated Forms – Versus Women and the Wild

She said “I don’t understand why anyone would go to that much effort to litter in such a beautiful place. I mean it takes a lot of energy to actually do such a thing. To carry trash that far out into the wilderness…and then dump it in a pristine paradise….and then not have any remorse or guilt or consideration for what they have done…to walk away, and leave their garbage in such a special place, makes no sense to me. I really don’t understand why they would do such a thing.”

And I said “Why would a man find or discover a woman who is such a gorgeous sexy creature…..vibrant with emotion and drive and motherly nurturing…and astounding beauty…and love…..and a zest for life and for a healthy balanced relationship, and then…then, deconstruct her…rip her apart…tear her down….try to remake her? Why would he lie to such a woman…why do you think he would deceive her or cheat on her? Why would he destabilize her…..weaken her? Think about it…I’m serious…it takes a lot of effort…a lot, and a lot of energy…to be given something so graceful, so beautiful….to have it in your orbit and then take its natural order…yeah, I know I am a damn super nerd…but I’m serious, I said it, and meant it….to take its natural order of such inherent beauty and existence and then, poison it….and manipulate it…..and attack it….to turn it upside down and ugly and away from its own peace and bliss and stability.

It’s the same damn thing in many ways. A man who does this to a woman is insecure and fearful….maybe even terrified. He doesn’t have any self-worth and the truth is that he feels unworthy or not good enough on his own merits and character and all that type of shit to keep such a angelic sexy beast of a woman in an ongoing relationship with himself. His insecurity destabilizes him and thus he must…he must destabilize and weaken the woman to keep her off kilter, unaware of her own beauty and strength, and also unaware of all options outside of himself. He will isolate her…mark her in any way he can as a possession…and progressively try and control her with fear and over-dominance instead of synergistically balancing himself with her via respect.

In the woods, many of the hikers and campers have been talked into the experience by others…in other words they did not really come to the place for the right reasons…they were guilted into it by their own ego or the words of another person or forced into it by the mandates of a parent or an adult group leader, like a scoutmaster. That means they will resent the hell out of whatever persons are associated with this experience and it means they will also resent the hell out of the place itself…even if it is a true paradise….you know kinda like resenting the strength and independence of a gorgeous sexy beast of a woman….but their resentment will not be overt or open or direct…because bada-boom bada-bang, you guessed it….they are too insecure to admit their fear and true feelings to others, because that could make them look or appear weak. These people approach the woods…the hiking…and the camping, just like our weaker guy approaches a stronger woman…passive-aggressively and indirectly. If they had the self-confidence and self-worth to admit they didn’t want to be in the woods, they would not have gone into the woods in the first place and thus would have no resentment, and further thus, no reason to passive-aggressively display their angst and try to assert some type of symbolic control or dominance over the environment of the woods. In the same respect, if a weaker or insecure man simply admitted his insecurity and thoughts to our stronger woman, then again, the cycle of destabilization may not ever even occur with all of its deceptive games and practices…because such truth and honesty could potentially remove the resentment and establish a true bond of respect, reversing the cycle to a positive state.

So, our resentful, insecure hiker/camper, bluffing his interest and courage in the temple of the wilderness, passive-aggressively counters his true fear, anxiety, and disdain for those who brought him here, those who simply just love the wild and find supreme peace here, where he cannot, and the very creatures and life abounding in their paradise which also happens to be his hell, by dumping litter, his mark of dominance and disrespect, all over “their” paradise, in hopes they will begin to hate it as much as he hates it. The similar act of cutting down live wood serves the same purpose usually…by chopping, cutting, or sawing down life, a person is often trying to make themselves feel empowered or in control…essentially over-dominate. He attempts to secretly or at least cleverly, but not openly destabilize the wild and the other people and creatures trying to appreciate the wild through his actions, just like our other man does to our pretty lady.

Why? Insecurity and fear will always attack natural order and stability in any form (a stable person or a stable paradise) because it gives itself an excuse to satiatingly sink within its own chaotic madness where it has a chance to dominate and control all. Insecurity and fear cannot…cannot complete with, dominate, or control anything that remains in a stable state. Respect…true respect of all and everything is the telltale sign and indicator of stability and no one should settle for anything less than such. That is where paradise awaits…whether it be in the arms of a gorgeous sexy beast or out in the middle of the wild.

Cribb          2014

Love vs Sex 89 (#7 on Tantric Sex)

The more we relax, the more we become involved in the present moment, and from here the sexual experience can emerge spontaneously. The intensity of turning the awareness inward onto the delicacy of the genitals during sexual union encourages consciousness to awaken in the body.

The body then becomes a temple and sex a god-given meditation.

This approach essentially involves a shift from focus originating from the mind to the inherent focus of your body. Because senses and sensuality are greatly enhanced through awareness, and because love is made in the physical body, we must learn to expand our sensory awareness, its feelings and perceptions. What is happening in our very own bodies? And where? Remember it is a matter of pulling your attention from the periphery to the core, from the outside focus of the mind to to an inside focus of the body. What am I feeling and where am I feeling it? How does it actually feel? Exactly where do I feel the awakening of life in my body?

We have to continually step back to our inside space, leaving the outside space outside. It is as if we literally have to step inside our bodies, create the inside space and keep expanding it. The outside space is usually much bigger in people than the inside space, so we have to “force” the boundaries of the inside space open, to expand.

At the outset of lovemaking, when each person gives the time and attention to his or her body first, by expanding their inside space, it is as if the air between the bodies that normally separates them actually comes alive, like a magnetic field.

You become aware of the life in your own body which radiates outward to communicate with the body and presence of your lover through the space between you.

Establishing and harnessing inner awareness (“stepping inside our bodies”, “focus of the body”, “attention to the core”) is a far more delicate phenomenon than the thinking process. It is difficult to “be” in the body. One contributing factor is that at the outset of making love, we are much too fast in bringing our bodies into physical contact. We compress what could otherwise be a prolonged and wonderful exchange into a few seconds flat, trying to create something enjoyable for the other.

This has the effect of pulling each person out of awareness, off center, and away from home. Rather than feeling ourselves by dropping inward and absorbing the other, being sweet and simple, we put more effort in doing something to them, a rub, a touch, a caress. We have become “doings” and forgotten how to be human beings.

The Heart of Tantric Sex

Diana Richardson          2003

Love vs Sex 88 (#6 on Tantric Sex)

The greatest insight of Tantra, indeed its cornerstone, is that masculine and feminine energies are equal and opposite forces. These attract and complement each other, as do yang and ying, dynamic and receptive, positive and negative. This signifies that when men and women are joined in sexual union, the bio-energies of the bodies create an ecstatic sexual experience through the interplay of opposite polarities. And this happens without doing anything. In effect, the Tantric journey begins when we contact and reestablish our inherent male and female polarities. This presence of opposing polarities or forces in man and woman is crucial, since it introduces us to a whole new vision of the sex act.

When we make love operating against the inherent polarities of the sex organs, we are unwittingly working against our own sexual potential. Through making love in consciousness, we are able to purify (decondition) ourselves from this energy disturbance, and the bodies will gradually and gratefully return to their intrinsic male and female polarities. Men begin to feel their true masculine qualities and women their genuine female attributes.

We generally are not aware of this falsity or disturbance in our polarities because it has been our sad condition for so long, but what is apparent these days is that women are increasingly tough and manly while a great many men in turn are more macho and aggressive. Both men and women are suffering from the effects of a distressed sexual energy. We were born with this imbalance, and from the first moment we make love, unless we are guided differently, we are reinforcing it.                    

The essential step for me was to acknowledge my polarity and fall increasingly into it. I focused on how to become more “negative” and passive, so to speak, more allowing, more receptive, more conscious, and it surprised me to find my man becoming more “positive,” more dynamic, more vital, more “here.” This was not the same kind of positive I had known formerly, where lovemaking could be described as a pushing hard linear event, creating a peak of energy. It was almost the opposite, like the inverting of a peak, a bottoming out. It was something new and different, deeply touching, circular, ecstatic, unimaginably joyful. Whenever I fell back into my peak and release pattern, I would feel frustrated, irritable, incomplete, and no longer close to my lover.

I gradually discovered that love was strengthened through an inner focus, rather than an outer focus, and that it depended more on me, and my consciousness, than on him. In this way suddenly everything was back in my own hands, and I began to see that I was entirely responsible for the quality of love in my life. When I made love consciously I noticed that I was much more loving and lovable.             

The Heart of Tantric Sex

Diana Richardson          2003

Those Damn Doctors

A damn doctor brings his dog into a hospital in July of 2013 to be evaluated for a cough. The client examines his dog thoroughly and detects a heart murmur which appropriately prompts the client to then recommend and perform x-rays on the patient. The x-ray findings enable the client to make the further diagnosis of mild heart enlargement. The client proceeds to discuss the murmur and the possibility of early associated congestive heart failure in depth with the doctor, explaining how the cough may be related only to the murmur, but that sometimes such a cough can also be just as related to bronchial (lung/respiratory disease). The client prescribes Lasix and Enalapril, two very common heart medications, for the damn doctor’s dog and explains that it is very important to give the medications to the patient and then return in a few weeks to the hospital to check some relevant lab work that those medications might impact upon.

The damn doctor returns to the hospital in February of 2014 to have his dog reevaluated for a cough. The client then respectfully and interestingly inquires why the damn doctor never previously returned for more medication for his dog or to do the requested lab work. The damn doctor responds that the medications “didn’t do anything” and then proceeds to present a not so well spoken educational dissertation to the client on the type of “you know” “that special breed cough” that his dog suffers from and that he has read all about on the internet. Then the client patiently and cautiously tells the damn doctor that he is fully aware of the specific type of cardiac anomaly associated with his breed of his dog and that this anomaly was exactly why he had prescribed the previous medication…being the treatment and all of such an anomaly. The damn doctor cannot offer up any desired treatment option for his dog to the client that he has read about on the internet and he acts very suspicious and skeptical of the clients previous prescription recommendations. The damn doctor refuses further x-rays or lab work for reassessment of his pet, has no interest in restarting the previously prescribed medications, and then agrees to at least try a medication, Theophylline, in case the cough is primarily related to bronchial disease. The client feels this is a valid option, especially since the damn doctor has taken all of the other options off of the table. The client requests phone updates from the damn doctor on his dog’s response to the medication as needed and a recheck visit in 2-4 weeks.

The damn doctor never calls and never shows for a recheck exam of his dog in 2-4 weeks. Three and a half months later, he presents to have his dog reevaluated for his cough. On this visit, the damn doctor spends a decent amount of time again displaying his knowledge of the expertise of the non-professional, non-learned, irrational internet folk’s incomplete and ambiguous data base related to his dog’s cough. After his lengthy presentation to the client, he tells the client that the Theophylline also “did nothing” and “that he saw no response to the medication at all.” Predictably, the damn doctor then takes his next expected step and refuses further diagnostics yet once more. In a desperate attempt to somehow get though the defenses of the damn doctor, and actually help the damn doctor’s dog, the client responds by spending an enormous amount of non-revenue generating effort petitioning the damn doctor to give the medications of Lasix and Enalapril a second chance at improving the patient’s condition. The damn doctor finally agrees and the patient is discharged with another round of these medications. The client requests that the damn doctor return for a recheck exam in 2-3 weeks.

Two and a half months later the damn doctor contacts the hospital out of the blue and requests a referral to a referral client who is a Boarded Cardiologist in the field. The option of this referral had been offered and discussed previously in great detail with the damn doctor by the client, but up until now, it had also been on the refused list. The client is happy that the damn doctor is going somewhere….anywhere…to get another opinion and perhaps some help for his dog. The client feels that all of his recommendations to the damn doctor have been very valid and practical, but of more importance to him than his possible error or misperception or ineptitude is obtaining an accurate diagnosis and helping the patient.

The referral client cardiologist performs an exam, x-rays, and an ultrasound on the damn doctor’s dog. The cardiologist definitely diagnosis’ the dog with the exact same problems that the regular client had suspected: degenerative valvular disease, congestive heart failure, and bronchial disease. The cardiologist further states on his report that “The coughing is due to BOTH (his emphasis) bronchitis and heart disease”. The cardiologist’s written client instructions include “The medications being dispensed are very important in the treatment of heart failure, but may also have some side effects. It is important that the recommendations for rechecks are strictly followed. A recheck should be performed in 1-2 weeks.” Further information written by the cardiologist to the damn doctor states “Your dog will ALWAYS be prone to coughing due to his condition and it will never go completely away. We just hope to reduce the coughing fits with the medications.”

The referral client cardiologist scripts out to the damn doctor the medications which are essential to helping his dog, and the regular client has to laugh out loud when he learns this list includes Lasix, Enalapril, and Theophylline. Another drug is also on the list and the regular client knows he would have added it to the mix if the damn doctor had ever continued the other medications as directed and return for a second timely recheck.

The client still shakes his head about this case today. He wonders if the damn doctor will listen any better to the referral client. He wonders why it is that so many damn doctors refuse to let him help their pets. He wonders why most people choose not to listen and contemplate rational thought and explanation, instead choosing to live in their own egocentric delusional reality. He wonders how much this damn doctor has defamed his name and reputation as a good client…falsely saying or proclaiming to others that “That damn client couldn’t help my dog. I’ve gone back to him a number of times and I have listened and complied with every thing he has said and recommended over and over and over, and he can’t figure it out….not to mention I spent a damn fortune with him”. The client knows the common mantra damn doctors tend to spew in private company about clients…he knows.

Then, the client remembers that even though the damn doctors are overwhelming in their numbers and ignorance and in-appreciation and delusion, that some doctors aren’t damn doctors…….some are good doctors and some are really good doctors. He remembers those really good doctors and thinks about how much he enjoys working with them and their pets….how appreciative and understanding and receptive THEY are in considering his knowledge, opinion, and advice. Deep down, the client knows those really good doctors make the difference…all the difference in his world…..and his sometimes suppressed optimism, rises once again to the surface and he hopes that those really good doctors understand what a really good client he happens to be.

 

Cribb          2014