Together with my lover, as we embraced the Tantric teachings, penetrating the deeper waters of sex and the heightened love that arose through it, my life took on a new vision, and I felt as if I was arriving home.
Today I can see that the roots of true contentment lie not on the outside of me, but rather within me, and sex has become a vehicle for me to contact my core, my inner world, my silent self.
It has given me much more depth and substance than my ambitions and achievements ever could.
Tantra reminds us that true relaxation starts with sex. Unfortunately, in our society we have forgotten the art of relaxation in most areas of life. And sex in particular has become a source of anxiety and stress for many of us. We are conditioned with countless fears and tensions around sex, but once we begin to relax during the sexual act, we will find that many of our anxieties and unhappinesses naturally subside.
If we can relax into the sex energy, the inner comfort that it produces will radiate out giving the rest of life that same quality of relaxation and loving ease. In exploring sex we become more intimate with our own body and sexuality and that of our partner, too. With this comes an acceptance of the simple truth, with nothing hidden, that naked is sacred. And out of this arises a confidence based on self-understanding.
Through the experience of Tantra, we find that what we have always hoped is true: love and joy can be a tangible reality for each of us, not an impossible dream.
The Heart of Tantric Sex
Diana Richardson 2003
I think these principles are absolutely essential to achieving the full potential of a sexual experience. The difference I have witnessed in lovers who have been relaxed, yielding with their own exposed vulnerability, and able to forget about any type of guilt or judgement imposed by any societal element, and other lovers plagued by any form of quilt, anxiety, insecurity, or fear of vulnerability and the yielding of control, is enormous. This latter group (the plagued group) always tends to believe any sexual glitches they may have are outside of themselves and interestingly enough, they most often absolutely refuse to discuss the matter whatsoever. The act of such “plaguing” seems to express itself in these lover’s dislike of sensual stimulation or intimacy not directly related to immediate orgasm, wet kisses, loss of their own “authoritarian/dictatorship” role during (and what I might add, outside as well) the act, and of course, difficultly with obtaining orgasm, especially via interaction with their lover. This “plagued” group prefers to “pound it out”, actually with less desire and emphasis on foreplay, and they prefer to avoid direct eye contact/union. And finally, they seem to find it easier to have sex with toys than with a human partner.
The principles of accepting the naked person that resides in your inner core as a healthy entity of accountability, choice, and non-excuse, and being willing to share that naked person with another in a relaxed and intimate state, are fundamental to healthy sex and the further pursuit of obtaining the highest degree of transcendent sexual union possible.