It is a Do
I feel the need to say something to you and again, I promise this is sincere…it is for your benefit and not my gain.
If you knew you were going to die tomorrow…knew it was an irreversible fact…a done deal…and you could fuck only one person between now and then, who would it be?
Find him and fuck him for the rest of your actual existence with the same yielded vulnerability and savoring and penultimate desire that you would offer him on that dying day of yours.
Don’t suffer guilt about it in any way, or think your soul too sexual, or fool yourself into thinking that he is only with you to fulfill the dirtiest and most demeaning of lusty desires.
Let it the fuck go…..
Find the person that you most assuredly would want to talk to if you were limited to the last conversation of your life…find that person and talk to him…talk…..and forget the fucking games and mind tricks and insecurities.
Talk freely and openly and honestly.
Let the isolating and obstructive silence of abstinent conversation go…..
If you love someone, love that person with all of your heart; in every thought, in every word, and in every deed…love them despite whatever it may mean…..don’t hold back anything…don’t posture in any way…..don’t try to control him under any circumstances…don’t form regrets or any terms of endearment that must be continuously submitted to. Love the man that should be loved, unconditionally.
Let the false parameters and pseudo-conditions that have supposedly and erroneously defined love for an eternity be fully realized, and then let them go…
It doesn’t matter who him is.
It is who it must be for you.
But do this, and do it now, because if you are not, you are not living as it is meant to be and your soul is already sleeping with the dead.
It isn’t a dream or a process or a decision…it isn’t a future…it is a do…
It is a do.