The Veterinarian – A Sadist, Madame Frankenstein, and a Penny Bombardment

The veterinarian enters the exam room with the receptionist, who is assisting him at present. During the normal greeting to the client, the receptionist reaches down to pick up the puppy’s leash, which is connected to the pet’s collar. The leash had been wiggling back and forth on the floor for some time, being drug about by the puppy as he is running about unrestrained. As soon as the receptionist takes the leash in her hand, the owners’ young child suddenly becomes interested in the dog. He runs over and pulls on the leash while jumping up and down. It is hard to tell of he is more interested in pulling the leash out of the receptionist’s hands or if he is more motivated to choke his puppy. His mother tells him to stop and he does so reluctantly. Then the receptionist reaches down, picks up the puppy, and places him on the table.  

As the receptionist restrains the puppy on the exam room table and the veterinarian performs the exam, simultaneously talking with the owner, the child reaches into one of his front pockets and finds a penny. He then approaches the table, places the penny on the edge of the table, and then, with one finger, pushes the penny to the middle of the table and a location immediately adjacent to the puppy. His mother takes the penny, hands it back to the child, and tells him not to do that, because we are talking and he is getting in the way. The veterinarian begins conversation again with the owner, but fifteen seconds later, the child approaches the table once more, and repeats his previous action with the penny. And as predictable as the passing of time, the mother picks up the penny again and hands it back to her child. She raises the volume of her voice slightly and then repeats her insincere declaration of consequence and parameter to her child once more. Within another fifteen seconds, the child approaches the exam table for the third time. He sets the penny on the table, but this time, before he can initiate his little push of the copper coin, the veterinarian reaches down and grabs the penny. A look of alarm mixed with inquisition, spreads across the tiny face as the veterinarian captures his attention.

“Your mommy said no, and when a mommy says no, it means no. So, don’t do it again, okay?” were the words delivered by the veterinarian to the child, but more importantly, was the understanding that had also been delivered through posture, gaze, and the acknowledgement of presence. The child politely accepted the return of his coin, before stepping backwards, and retreating behind his mother without a peep. The mother displayed no recognition of any of the events associated with the third attempted penny bombardment, almost as though her short term memory had been previously obliterated by some unknown disease or trauma. Thus, the conversation proceeded without a seeming glitch. “Oh my gosh,…well, I really wasn’t ready for a puppy, but my eleven year old daughter wasn’t doing so well with everything, and she really, really wanted a puppy. He’s not going to continue to bite like he is, right? I mean, I just want to make sure he’s going to stop…right? Oh my gosh, he will stop, right? He’s not going to grow up and bite someone, right? Oh gosh”. 

The problem with the puppy as well as the child was overtly obvious. The puppy began misbehaving the moment he was restrained in any manner whatsoever. During the conversation, his head bobbed up and down continuously bucking and resisting normal physical contact and gentle restraint. He whined, bit with moderate playfulness, and twisted in contortions on the exam room table. He had never been socialized and the owner had potentiated his instability by not providing a stable environment with set boundaries. Like the veterinarian had noted so many times, it was apparent that she utilized the same destructive philosophy with her child; puppy and child next to one another, both a product of a clueless and self-deceptive parent, not interested in the responsibility of actually being a parent…actually being a mother. Let’s just reproduce and acquire pets and pretend they need no guidance. Let them go crazy and do whatever they want in a critical developmental stage of their lives and then blame them. Blame them. Woe is me. How I suffer at the hands of fate…except she doesn’t really suffer by her own hand, by her own willful ignorance, because she has always taken the easy way out, blaming everyone and everything else without the painful awareness of introspection. She turns child and dog, both into monsters and then turns them over to society, letting others deal with the final product of her disastrous blueprints. Well done, Madame Frankenstein! Well done. 

“What I keep trying to tell you, what you have to understand is that it isn’t the dog that determines the outcome. It is you. You. The dogs’ behavior is just a product of his environment and his pack, just like with a child. If you set clear boundaries and establish a stable environment and pack, the dog will do well. If you don’t do that, if his world continues to swirl with instability and you are too busy and you don’t provide him with boundaries and stability, he will turn into a monster. You will have created a monster. Dog behavior can be very hard for people to understand, and correct, because people typically choose to believe their dogs are just four-legged furry people oozing with unconditional love. That just isn’t true and that misperception is what causes many of the behavioral problems we see in dogs. Dog behavior is counterintuitive to the way most people have been programmed to think and it cannot be explained adequately in any shape of form or fashion during the time of one exam. A good dog behavioralist can probably fix the problem and get your dog under control, but only if you are willing to listen to them….I mean really, really listen to them and put the required time and dedication into the process. In all seriousness, you seem very busy and it sounds like your home environment is somewhat of a whirlwind, especially with you having a young child to manage. If you don’t have the budget or time or the patience to apply towards your child and the puppy, you might really want to consider finding another home for the puppy…it might be better that way for everyone.” 

“Oh, I would never do that. I couldn’t give him away. I just want to make sure that he isn’t going to grow up and bite someone. It will stop, right. I just want to be sure he will stop.” The ignorance, the bravado, the glazed over look in the eyes, as she retorts the same mantra over and over and over in her self induced state of deafness is remarkable in its own right. It is almost a state of self induced hypnosis and he has seen it again and again and again. It is damn near impenetrable with logic, rationality, and sound advice. It is the equivalent of talking to a rock except that the rock might actually be moved in slight, imperceptible ways from the sound waves of speech. This person and parent would be moved in no way. She was hell-bent on her course. This life form would have been banished from or even killed in a pack of wild dogs, so its insanity would not propagate and infect the rest of the pack, endangering all. That would have been nature’s normal culling process. Instead, this parent makes babies and then turns them into monsters. God blesses her with the free will to do this while he fails to shield her children from her infectious destructive insanity. Why not protect the priest who molests and the mother who fucks up an innocent child? Why not kill good people with tornadoes and brain tumors and freak accidents while you let evil survive and walk the earth? It is because God is a sadist just like Madame Frankenstein. Because you see, he is Doctor Frankenstein and we are his monsters. He creates monsters with free will so they can create more monsters. Except now, God is kind of starting to sound more like Satan and this stupid pitiful woman who chooses to infect those around her with perpetual madness instead of love and respect. 

The veterinarian glances at the receptionist in some form of silent communication or plea; is she listening to anything, and I do mean anything that I have said? Does she hear one word? One damn single word? Will this person shut her self-absorbed trap of a delusional boisterous fool long enough to get some sound advice from someone who can help her or will she continue to bloviate without listening, without thought, without reflection? Her mantra is almost religious in the repetition and mundane brainwashing rhythm; a chant that is intended to block out and nullify any contemplation or examination of facts, actions, and consequences. She is willfully ignorant…willfully, and her will is to not listen, to avoid reality and responsibility…to shun being a responsible parent and a responsible dog owner…to blame everything on anything except herself, when she is in fact to blame for almost all of the behavioral problems of her child and her dog. The veterinarian witnesses the same observation and the same frustration on the face of the receptionist…the same glance of I can’t believe this bitch is really THIS delusional.

So the same conversation revolves around a few more times and finally the veterinarian can bear no more. “If we can help further, let us know. Remember, you are the determining factor with your puppy, just like your child. You, not the puppy, and if you apply the correct techniques and a structured environment, the puppy will behave. The receptionist will check you out at the front desk. We appreciate your business and I wish you well with your puppy.” The veterinarian then departs through the back door to the sanctity of silence and the absence of such a deplorable example of human awareness and behavior…..a deplorable example that has already reproduced. The client leaves through the front door heading to the front counter to be checked out by the receptionist.  

At the checkout desk, she repeats the same question in semi-automatic repetition to the receptionist once more. “I just want to be sure, he will stop biting. I mean are you sure he will stop. It just concerns me. I don’t want a dog that is going to bite someone.” The receptionist explains that she cannot predict what the dog will do one day and it is the equivalent of having a psychiatrist evaluate her child at present and guarantee her that the child will never murder anyone later in life. The frustration of futility is bearing down upon the receptionist at this point almost as much as it has the veterinarian. “If you listen to the veterinarian’s recommendations, your puppy will probably turn out to be a good pet and you should have nothing to fear. If you are too busy, and you cannot take care of the puppy, you may want to give the puppy up like he said. You can also get some help with a trainer if you desire. In the end, you are the primary factor in how your puppy will behave, just like your child. The puppy’s behavior will continue to reflect the guidance that you give him.”

After the client leaves, the receptionist and the veterinarian share a conclusion and a prediction. The client survived the entire exam and experience without listening to or learning a single thing. 

The puppy and the child are most likely doomed.


Cribb     2012

One thought on “The Veterinarian – A Sadist, Madame Frankenstein, and a Penny Bombardment

  1. Pingback: That Bites! |

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