Love vs Sex 44

One

One stays in a sexless and disrespectful marriage, but pretends all the while that she is oh so fucking happy all the time…..happier than any of her friends in relationships of the same damn caliber. One has never has multiple orgasms. One rides her bike twenty-four seven and acts like everything is perfect. One pierces her clit. One cock-blocks her supposed, dear friend, who she also supposedly “cares” about so much. One spends all of her waking hours accompanied by her dog, but never by her man. One takes selfies all the time to show herself and the rest of the world how undeniably attractive and inorganically computer screenish she is. One surrounds herself with minions of little boys to display her suitors and conquests. One looks only at her own pictures from two decades ago. One sex-texts, back and forth, with a million teases and arousing hints to get herself wet, so protectively and secretly wet, so no sin actually occurs and she can work herself up and masturbate for release, but never actually act on the proper natural order of life and desire. One looks giddy and nervous as hell and it is obvious she would lose herself so fucking quickly….she wants to lose herself so fucking quickly…..needs to lose herself….needs to, but she says “I don’t like that. It isn’t what I want.” One says “I work all the time…..all the time. I never get to have fun anymore.” One says “I can’t do that…I’m not single”, but she isn’t married or truly committed. One dances in the mirror, moving as sexy and provocative as possible for all men and women alike to see….to notice, but then she frowns and pretends like she can’t laugh…she can’t….because life is too serious…there are too many burdens… and she says she wants to date, but then she reverses behavior….games of dominance ensue. One says she has gained weight and maybe someday. One says I am on meds. One says my kids are my life. One doesn’t like wet kisses. One doesn’t like compliments. One spends her own chosen exiled existence on social media accumulating digital “friends”. One spends an hour putting on make-up to pretend she is pretty under her mask, but then refuses to put real time in at the gym to strengthen herself, tone her body, and actually start to truly feel better about herself. One talks about her new hobby every week. One displays picture after picture after picture of her children…over and over and over. One goes to church and wears sexy provocative clothing that clearly states “I want to be fucked” for all the church boys and men and women to see and take note of. One cries when she is alone and no one is watching….cries a lot. One sleeps all of the time to hide from possibly having to live. One says I stayed with him for the children’s sake…only for the children’s sake. One gets a boob job and then complains about men who are just interested in a woman for her boobs. One remains perpetually stoned. One can’t relax while I suck and twirl my tongue gently and passionately around her clitoris. One has to pick a fight. One says she doesn’t want my attention until I give it to her friend and then she changes her mind. One’s pain is written all over her face in almost everything she does…she thinks she is fooling everyone, but she is not. One’s desire is written all over her body and her words and her aura, but she vehemently denies that desire as her own actions are the accusator who declares her a liar. One could be happy….could be free…could be fucking all the time…making love all the time….to just one or many…..could be cuming and cuming and cuming during sex… could be laughing and giggling and enjoying everything, could be talking to someone who is real and actually listening…truthfully… respectfully… joyfully….peacefully….could fly and love and live her own life. One could escape her prison. One could let go of her fear. One could truthfully be herself and not who she thinks she is supposed to be. Or…..or….or, one could just continue to pretend to be something she is not…pretend to live….pretend to be at peace while everyone around her sees her miserable suffering….sees her self induced torture and forfeiture of her own peace and happiness and love. One only gets one chance to live…

 

Cribb     2014                             

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