For Me or For You? – Part 2

I said “come here” and I gently took her hand. She looked at me with a curious glimmer, a tiny almost infinitesimal hint of fear, and a thirsty giddiness that seemed to be secretly wet with ravenous unspoken starvation. She yielded just slightly…..cautiously…and allowed me to walk her over to the dresser and place her in front of it… front of the large mirror it bore. She still looked a little unsure about my intent or purpose, but a second much more overriding uncertainty seemed to rise within her posture; What do I do…how do I respond to him? And those thoughts still came from her practiced mind. I spread her legs with tender touch to a comfortable supporting position set just a little wider than her shoulders width apart. Then her toes seemed to start working on their own volition, reflexively seeking purchase within the grooves and textures of the carpet. By delicate command, I placed her hands in front of her, bracing them on the solid dark wood of the dressers top. She turned her ever so slightly downcast face slowly to her side, and quietly searching whatever might naturally fall into the field of her vision, she sought for any clues or allusions that I might be exposing.                 


She was lying next to me in my bed and it was so hard not to touch her…so damn hard. A little taste of the sculpture of her abdominal muscles was uncovered by her slightly raised shirt, and her supple and erotic youthful skin, interrupted only by just the tiniest tease of a minute trail of ecstasy; the finest, most delicate blonde hair you could ever imagine, flowed over that sculpture so enticingly that it tempted my every thought…my every fucking word. Her body said yes, but her words had said no, and for whatever damned reason, I honored her words. I told her that she could stay as long as she liked…she was safe, but then somehow, I don’t even remember how, it became obvious that her parents didn’t know where she was…..and I couldn’t help myself…my fucking honor and such. So, I pushed the point with her that I thought she should somehow let them know where she was…..because they must care about her and where she was that late at night…..and then she decided to go.

I Starbuck (the character from Battletar Galactica, not the fucking coffee) you…………………………………………

“What do you think about Seth? Or maybe Wyatt?……Seth Cribb…or Wyatt…Cribb…hhhhhmmmmm…I like them both. Maybe a little cowboyish, but that’s actually pretty fucking cool. I even like Isaiah. Can you believe that?…..biblical, but I don’t really give a shit about that, it still sounds pretty badass….and for a girl…well, you already know how much I like Alma…..Alma Cribb…I know it’s weird, but I still like it. Dagny… Dagny is another one…it also has a ring to it that I like…and then even something crazy as hell might sound good…something really unusual like Yoshi….ha ha ha…..Yoshi Cribb… makes me smile and think of some super hot Asian chick. I don’t know…we could even do a western name for a girl too…huh? Why not? A little cowgirl? Dakota goes pretty well will Cribb…..Dakota Cribb…she’d be a damn spitfire for sure.   

..…You are my little hamster that scurries about on a running wheel………You are my warm milk drinker..

 We were sitting in front of my hospital on the damn curb…a damn concrete curb and I was so, so fucking happy that she had stopped by to see me again. The sun was shining on us both as we sat next to one another talking, but she…she was the radiant force that heated the world and the rest of the universe ; she made life possible. As her hands danced with her words and her facial gestures in such an entertaining manner, she spoke “When people piss me off when I am driving down the road, I get really, really mad and sometimes I want to kill them, but I don’t know what to do (and she giggled so lasciviously)…, I just…head dance in my car…and then, then, they have no idea what to think or what to do.” And I totally lost myself in her mischievous smile and her glorious, glorious laughter.

.You is my lover of pottery….. You are my kitchen partner… Angel that doesn’t wear any wings………..

“We waited until marriage because he seemed to have such strong Christian values and by the time of our wedding night, I was really ready to go…if you know what I mean? He couldn’t even get hard and that first night I just thought it was nerves or something, but it never got better…never. We went to therapy and tried everything, but we ended up never having sex during the entire year I staid married to him. We even got a prescription once for Viagra and I remember finding the bottle a few weeks later…..almost all of the damn pills were gone, and I grabbed the bottle and took it to him and shook it in front of him and said ‘Where the hell was I?’”    


I stood on the side of a mountain in our campsite and wanted everything to be as perfect for her as was possible. My arms were connected to pots, pans, dishes, and a Coleman stove. They disconnected, then reconnected, then went back and forth as was needed to shuffle between cooking green chili cheese grits, bacon, and poached eggs, all at the same time. My eyes and my attention were divided even further as I tried to also nourish our fire that was starving for wood and battling a mountain gale. Here there this that and the other, my consciousness and actions leapt for her…much, much more than any concern for myself…..and meanwhile, she just sat there drinking her warm coffee.

To be Continued… Cribb 2014

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